The grenade settled into place only feet away from him. That it had landed in the mud granted a rare opportunity for it to be returned to its owner. I crouched, calculating the

The bird fluttered onto my window sill and pecked away at my will to live. Each knock on the window pane was a reminder of the tequila I'd hoped to forget, but she was there, so

After about 50,000 thumbs up, between his lawn mower career and his lego hair on television, he will friend his dance this week on the cable network

The orange jumpsuit and grease-slicked hair made my brother look for all the world like the worthless punk he was. His nonchalance pissed off the judge enough that

The widow glanced at her watch and waited impatiently for the will to be read. It was almost sundown and if he was going to ruin it by showing up as a vampire, this would be his

They had been living in IKEA for 6 mos. now. They ate .99 cent Swedish meatballs everyday and lounged in the model front rooms. When they got sick of a decor, they just walked to

The scent of pine covered his fingers and reminded him it was Christmas time when he leaned a cheek against his fist. Only two days left, but five before Christmas. He would never

Twenty miles of hard road lay between them. He watched her through his hunting partner's binoculars and wondered how many days it would take to catch up. And was it worth it?

And the nominees for the best porn video title inspired by a mainstream movie name are

I sat down at the drum set. It had been a long time. Upstairs, I could hear the family whispering about something or another. I had enough. I took the drum sticks and began

Suzette saw stubble / on David's face / then went to Prom / with a guy named Chase / Burma Shave

He felt a sharp pain in his side as he scurried hurriedly down the ladder. He felt a numbing burning sensation at the core of his body. He knew how she felt

it was taking longer than expected. After the change , Dave thought himself immune to impatience, but it was taking too long. his telescopic range had grown but

the cat ran after the mouse.

Like a fool I had taken the bait. The filthy red lipstick had put me right where she wanted me. If I drool now I might never make it. It's do or die time, first and ten, bottom

He sat on the toilet and touched his balls. Felt good. It was bedtime anyway, so he started rubbing. And then the most disturbing thought occurred to him,

This is a love story. It has it's tangles, oddities, protuberances; but at the heart of it is an attraction between man and woman. For she loved him, and he her, and she knew

Hello jello, they tell me your fellow is a fine young cello sitting fist seat to the pawn and second fiddle to second trombone. Bastards! And to think that yesterday my coffee was

He said, "You know if the President cannot carry out his duties, then the Vice President must step in." Michelle's eyes blazed, "Joe, you are baaaaad." Biden reached into his

It was past noon and he had accomplished exactly nothing. While there was nothing to do, the fact that he was doing nothing disturbed him. When the doorbell range, he felt