I can't remember the moment it came to me...that I would be the last one. It should have been obvious and a conclusion easily derived from the first misstep, but for whatever

She stopped to take a shot of some swans roosting in a rice field, when suddenly the sky came alive with a cacophony of sound and flapping wings. She stood there, stunned, gaping.

He opened the book and saw his dad. The pipe. The estranged Senator's wife and of course, the maple scone. What he couldn't believe were the photos. How could

One time, there were two men, who ran a beauty parlor, three doors down from the evangelical "Four Square Church and Tabernacle." It had been five days since the six o'clock

One day Daniel Tosh walked into a store and over the intercome said haha its the gay man!

While in his room I slowly wrapped my mouth around the warmthness of

Elvin stared at the handcuff that connected him to his valise. "Why must I be a man with a suitcase?"

It wasn't any fun for me bursting out of her belly. It ticks me off. There's always sympathy for the human growing pod, but none for the alien spawn. What's up with that?

My fingers tingled as I prepared for my first gig as a guitarist with a rock band. So here I was, the room was dark, the joint smelled of stale drink, I was nervous, yet ...

She had taken her son to Disneyland. The photos were developed. She couldn't take her eyes off the one with her son and Princess Jasmine. There was something...oh wait, what

Hi, I'm fat and addicted to oxycotin. Strange because most drug people are thin. Not me, no amount of self-abuse stops my addiction. Actually, I'm getting hungry just thinking

There once was a Quaker Clown who hated kangaroos. We don't know why but he did, but he hated their bouncy, jumping around.

The alarm clock went off way too early this morning. I rolled over and chucked the alarm across the room. The snooze button became obsolete. I reluctently got out of bed

I felt immediately desperate after my divorce, and decided to visit a bar downtown. It’s not like me to drink, however I felt that if I had already lost my husband.. what else could I lose?

He went to the foley stage. It was the last line he had to record for Rocky III. The director told Stallone, "This is where Clubber Lang hits you-" Stallone put his hand up, then

The glittery ball in Times Square started to descend and everyone around seemed joyous as the countdown began

It was a really snowy winter. It had been snowing for a week now and I couldn't even get out of the house any more.

"Don't try this at home," he thought as he stuffed her corpse full of dynamite. He thought of having the fuse come out her vagina or ass, but that was too obvious. No, he would

Sorry. I'm late - I was busy being groped at the airport. I gotta tell you, that's the first time I let another guy touch my junk when I couldn't blame it on too many beers.

Flipping through the channels he froze on UHF. He saw himself sitting there on the tv. His couch was on tv. His living room was on tv. He lifted the remote and