At first I was conservative with my likes. I used to hand them out very sparsely, until one faithful day the ghosts of Christmas educated me on the liberal cause. Now I hand them

I had enough of it this time. This time I had to stand up for myself

I asked the Monster under my bed to scoot over and anxiously crawled in beside him.My parents' loud arguments carry through the thin walls of my room.Monster says sympathetically,

"Robert, you're the best hacker we have. You've got the raw processing power of an I7. Now get me those nuclear codes by tonight or it's game over for America."

There is a peculiar moment in time when, upon opening the fridge and seeing that the milk is one day expired, you must make a dreadful decision, one that could change everything.

He opened his drawer and presented me a folder containing more than just a few pages. "The higher ups already made their decisions. All you have to do—all you can do—is sign it.”

If your drunk and you know it clap your hand. If your drunk and you know it, but you don't really want to show it

The old story forever new

I am crazy!

Dressed in a nice white poofy, snowflake icicles dress, little jenna stood up looking at the mirror, "Is this really me? Why do I look like a kid, I am 16 years old, I am

Drats! That damned mouse stole my cheese again. It was day 47, and the vermin was stealing my expensive cheddar cheese. I walked around the apartment slowly, with a shotgun in my

HIHIHIHIHIHIHI

In the great clockwork of the heavens a tiny sphere passes before the furnace and life giver, a speeding messenger of melting lead, an interloper skimming her plasma winds

The event was unexpected and for that reason, unwelcomed. The plan called for proper planning and for every contingency being covered.

Today, I will glue a price tag on an 800 pound barbell, carry it to the supermarket, lay it down on the far end of a cash register's conveyer belt. People will notice something is

I would like to test this program to use when teaching my class.

There once was a princess name Linda. She lived in a magical kingdom in a far away land called Myropia. Lands stretched as far as the eye could see

The sign at the front of the diner said welcome to hell. And if you didn't like meatloaf it was. Of course if you did, it was worse.

"I love your garden," she laughed. I showed her the chocolate mint, the lavender, the nightshade....

Why does the universe do this? I opened a fold accidentally (I blamed it on the dog), sorry slimwhitman! It was written in Icelandic, which I dont speak. Of alll the possibilities