Why does the universe do this? I opened a

Why does the universe do this? I opened a fold accidentally (I blamed it on the dog), sorry slimwhitman! It was written in Icelandic, which I dont speak. Of alll the possibilities

I did not think of this one. What I did hastened the Ragnarök, for I joked the Eddic prophecy I could not read was a Swedish jingle for a constipation product. Odin was not pleased

for he had been experiencing diarrhea for at least a fortnight now,

"...and that's the reason I was so late to this date, are you going to eat that?" He said scooting in his chair. She stumbled back, dragging the table cloth in her haste, "Um..."

Moments later they both lay sprawled on the floor, broken dishes, food & wine splattered everywhere, every eye in the restaurant on them. Utter disbelief. "Waiter! Napkins please?"

The poor waiter scuttled away to find some rags, or at least a really big mop, while we stayed on the floor. I turned my head and whispered: "They can't see us if we don't move."

Just then, the waiter hurried back with reinforcements--two more waiters, 5 rolls of paper towel and a swifter. "Um, excuse me? Could you move?" he asked us. "Wanna try out my new

spill squad!" We were moved to another table as the well-armed crew worked their magic on the mess. Personally, I was relieved to have clean utensils, even if we were right by the

the orangutan who stood thoughtfully chewing a banana next to us. His name tag read Bonkers. On a lark I asked him, "What are you thinking about Bonkers?" "Professor Bonkers," he

corrected in a snooty tone, "did you think the U.S. nuclear missile program would be commissioned to a mere layman?" We assured the professor we were satisfied with his credentials