I have all the Elton John life-size collectable "living dolls" from the Tyrell Corporation. My favorite is Tiny Dancer - she's SO tiny, only comes up to my knee, and holds me

Please place towel on the floor if you need a new one. As a small step to saving the environment, we suggest you use your champagne chiller as a penis beaker. -The Hotel Staff.

Skaggs had a nasty way of snapping the spine out of his pickled mackerel before consuming it that made Tom uneasy so he hid in an apple barrel in the Galley when Skaggs & Hook ente

"Hot damn boy, you could sell ice to Eskimos!" cackled Grandpa as I handed him the money. Three long weeks I'd spent putting that deal together and now it seemed

It is said that Picasso, with his last breath, whispered, "Modigliani." Likewise would SlimWhitman expire, issuing the name of his mortal fold nemesis. "MoralEnd..."

I was at an avant garde concert. It was super quiet & then BANGBANGBANG!! a helluva noise. The 6 month foetus in my womb starjumped into my lungs. Would that permanently affect it?

Archer, Alice Alexis Ann, aimed an arrow at adolescent actress and amazing acrobat, Amy Allybob Absalom. But Billy Baxter Buttercup, brilliant brave boyfriend blocked

People say to me: "Oi, you, yes you, just shut up & listen. Look sit down, I said LISTEN! OK, how do you get your ideas for your folds?" I say: "I listen to the voices in my head

I listened to it again. "Rickety ... tickety ... bumlickety ... fu shnickety?" Near as I could figure Fu-Schnickens rickshaw had been ticketed outside of an anal enthusiast's estab

List of the stupidest Superheros ever invented: 1) Captain Carbuncle, able to cause unsightly boils to appear on his oponents face, secret ability: cures warts 2) Matter Eater Lad,

In the back of the Sports Memorabilia shop, sat a boxed set of Expert Edition Dungeons and Dragons published in 1981. Inside, was a cribbed notebook of the Necronomicon.

Ishida expressed his regret at not being able to stay, but he had urgent business at Fushimi castle. He ordered the guards to water the bamboo regulary until Sago was impaled, but

Charles new what was coming next. The pancake flew through the air; it's velocity reaching maximum as it splattered across Meggie's face, destroying her cherub-like demeanor to cre

Once upon a time, in the magical land of HELL...

Jherek Manatee of Mars toasted Old Earth from his timeshare condo on Tharsis Ridge. He found himself in a Byronic mood and dispersed the expats so he could ruminate in solitude. Th

Once upon a time there was a koala. She needed help reaching for something that had nothing she could climb on. So she asked a tall giraffe to help her

A stuffed polar bear, a pile of sketch books, two empty glasses and yesterday's newspaper; that was what they found in the captain's cabin when they finally broke down the door.

I cant even begin to explain how it made me feel. So much chock, so much intensity. My eyes could not believe what they were seeing. New Teen Wolf Blew my mind!

Emotional baggage? She's renting a berth on a container ship for her assorted

There it was! The mythical One-eyed Pigmy Giraffe of lore! And it was pathetically attempting to reach the lowest branch of that pygmy eucalyptus. I reached for my camera, but then