One typical night in the Loon and Harlot good ole Jez Osborne confided that he was, in fact, The Kraken. He stopped me before I opened my gob. "Believe you me, I'm awake. See those

Litze emerged sobbing from the cafe's bathroom. She was just off the bus from Estonia and hadn't seen a flushing toilet in 2 years. Budapest was paradise

It was when Mr Grey, a classics teacher, got a job at a girls boarding school that he developed his nervous twitch.

He stroked his facial hair. Flashes popped. The press leaned in. The pause was like a silent avalanche. Then the musician said, "I call it Post-Electric Samba Folk."

They were called in the kids school,that afternoon.Weewees were out!The flowers and bees talk had been a bucket of cold water.That night nothing was suposed to happen,but they were

First it was the email about the unclaimed dog poop. Then came the email about cleaning up the dribble on your own private property. Next came the claim that even a dog unattended

The headlines were emblazoned with "Jack, Jill Fall Down Hill, Severe Injuries" . Jack really didn't like the attention, but Jill was happy for it. She just got to show off her

Strangeness was rampant in Mr. Nucleon's house. Boson trees dropped their fruit into the Fermi sea in the garden. Schroedinger's cat winked from its branches. Dark matter

He was a gangly guy, a nipple-ripper alright, with an eye for the ladies and a taste for whiskey. Boasting a purple velvet vest, he zig-zagged into the room, smelling of ambergris.

Damn. Pau Gasol is sooooo se-xxxyyyy. Mmmmmm... Sus bolas de regate son como la poesía en el movimiento. Creo que estoy enamorado. Go Lakers!

"I want to soar with you like a bird & make love as if we were swifts in the air. Our sky is too bright to be taken down yet. Please come back to me." She deleted the text & walked

Bubba lived in a trailer in Georgia. He was on holiday, watching telly and eating a packet of crisps when he realized something was wrong. "What in tarnation?!" He went outside to

I live in a world where the sun and the moon race each other for the happiness humanity. Yesterday for the first time in a while the moon shined so bright that darkness was jealous

Flotilla Bathos was languishing in the windowless desiderium one morning when the butler brought in her daily salmanazar of wine. "How is your prolapse today, madam?" "Chives, what

India reluctantly put down her copy of 'Ravished by the Triceratops', & picked up her phone. Uh-oh, it was playing the Rocky theme tune. "Oh, Bert, it's you," she said with a certa

"What kind of fruit is this", the tourist cautiously poked the peculiar looking spiky pod like fruit. "Durian my friend, you try, you like! Only 30 Baht". He handed over the money,

Nathusius Pipistrelle set out from Blagdon to Oct. 4 2012 to visit his distant cousin, Vespadelus Pipistrelle who lived in a bat box in Schiermonnikoog. It was a trecherous journey

In late January

OK, I'm completely cereal this time. Honey, there's bunches of oats to be shredded, wheat to be frosted, flakes in the fruity pebbles paving the rocky road to our bowl. Golden

QUICK! Turn on the TV! The first sentence you hear is the next line of this story. GO!