"Pick up food here"

"Did you hear the one about the solipsist and the palimsest?" I replied that I had not. "well, you see, there was once a solipsist who owned an original manuscript of Neitsche.

Sometimes, I sit and think about all the things that need to be written. The words flow down my arms, over my elbows and through the ends of my fingers to emerge outside my body on

The postcard said: Meet me at the Bleeding Heart, Holborn. Don't wear a coat and bring the book with you - Dmitri.

Wild animals are fantastic. Love 'em. But when a male cricket begins stridulating within my premises, my domocile, my castle, it's war. That insect's going down. He could be Jiminy

One slow motion step forward...now I'm closing my eyes. This is it

Can —— you — — — hear — — — — ...me? The voice called out, darkness around, static echoing, distress settling in.

Thanks to the landmark case of "US Government vs. Dr. Finkle", proctologists were now required to use stirrups and a speculum to give their exams. No longer would women be the

The buzzer rang. A man wearing odd headgear with multiple zoom lenses stood at the door. "Hi there. You've won a free mapping of your residence for google@home."

Grato told his brother last. "I won the one-way ticket to Mars." Santuur imploded. "I need to go, bro. The structures are mapped. I need to see for myself, to touch the glyphs, to

"You're a poser, Sicily McPhalleyman". He said it to the mirror, straightened his Hermes tie, and grimaced his best impression of a smile. Then he entered the boardroom

I am a dog my name is Rupert and I am going to eat my food, then I am going to drink water... My friend Tom the cat said " I am going to...

The internet trolls are under your bed, in your closet, and in your head.

The Red Devil was flowing through her veins, waging war once again, breaking through cellular barriers, battering down both good and evil. She screamed in victory, baldly declaring

"Alert! Beyonce has broken her silence on the 'elevator incident'." Alert! Beyonce has broken her silence on the 'elevator incident'. Alert!.."

Once upon a time there was a 'Goldilocks' planet where everything was just right. Perfect. But some of the animals started to question things after a while. "Why

Through an unusual & inexplicable sequence of events, I found myself locked in closet with YoYo Ma. We were both sweltering & our hands were duct-taped together. Neither of us

When New York's Macys unfurled the balloons for another Thanksgiving's day parade, no one knew what had been left in the back in 1924.

He was a world eat world kind of dog. Teeth. Growls. And a cape. He took nourishment from beer and lil smokies.

Being she was extremely bored and felt like doing nothing but writing, the young girl opened a draft in her email to begin a story, and stopped. She had an unread email.