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32
A freshly sharpened pencil. Your favorite song. Cool water on a hot day. Hot water on a cool day. A good joke. The second beer. Requited love. Wildflowers. Snow on Christmas Day.
Finished
2017-05-29 21:13:44
Took
4 years, 163 days, 2 hours, 3 minutes, 44 seconds
41
The Church of the Science of Baloney was based on a book written by old Mother Cupboard in collaboration with the old woman that lived in a shoe. A lock picker read the book and
Finished
2017-05-29 21:48:25
Took
4 years, 171 days, 10 hours, 42 minutes, 43 seconds
27
I started to poop, the sloppy mass falling out of my anus into the bowl, I say a child run up to me. "gotacha" he screamed chasing me but he didn't want me he wanted my pooped,
Finished
2017-05-29 22:05:09
Took
2 years, 18 days, 18 hours, 49 minutes, 5 seconds
40
habia cinco cerdos
Finished
2017-05-29 22:15:15
Took
3 years, 3 days, 8 hours, 18 minutes, 39 seconds
32
The Ratgod checked his Chinese horoscope for 2013 and learned, to his dismay, that this is the year he would most likely experience loneliness.
Finished
2017-05-29 22:53:34
Took
4 years, 149 days, 6 hours, 32 minutes, 20 seconds
56
The wind blew in through the open window.
Finished
2017-05-30 00:14:59
Took
2 years, 335 days, 15 hours, 28 minutes, 44 seconds
57
I am an invisible mangonel.
Finished
2017-05-30 11:19:24
Took
5 years, 51 days, 17 hours, 37 minutes, 40 seconds
49
Hoomla! To weezum again the gentle caterpunk of the Shrincken lava pits. To intartly pinckle the Humbles of Funnickly. Salop! I Fagan, am a duppled patiworl, snaping for a grumlop!
Finished
2017-05-30 11:24:58
Took
2 years, 362 days, 4 hours, 30 minutes, 1 second
36
The night after Cyndi Lauper moved into the condo adjacent to mine, she began slamming into the connecting wall while screaming "SHE-BOP!", a performance which would prove a habit.
Finished
2017-05-30 16:00:51
Took
2 years, 351 days, 22 hours, 1 minute, 32 seconds
27
As I laid in bed all I could hear was a loud creaking noise as if someone was walking on hard wood floors, thing is my house is tiled completely.
Finished
2017-05-30 19:25:24
Took
2 years, 230 days, 10 hours, 24 minutes, 52 seconds
40
Rainbow Dash screamed in agony as Pinkie Pie used her devilish instrument to extract that... thing. "Rainbow dash, stop screaming, I cant take out your splinter without tweezers!"
Finished
2017-05-30 22:05:55
Took
4 years, 47 days, 11 hours, 35 minutes, 26 seconds
29
"What are you doing?" Jeanine asked Bob. "I'm howling silently like you told me to, of course!" Bob was growing puce & Jeanine worried that his already high triglycerides would clu
Finished
2017-05-31 11:03:19
Took
2 years, 261 days, 26 minutes, 33 seconds
31
"Wow, it's a good thing my costume has no socks," said Sarcastiman. "I bet they would've been knocked off by the immensity of this new assignment, Cap'n." Captain Frank rolled
Finished
2017-05-31 16:02:43
Took
4 years, 172 days, 13 hours, 49 minutes, 17 seconds
52
He decided that it was time to break up with the newspaper. He'd let the relationship go on for longer than he should have because he was afraid to hurt the paper's feelings.
Finished
2017-05-31 17:17:44
Took
5 years, 68 days, 20 hours, 43 minutes, 43 seconds
94
At all costs, I'm just trying to avoid eye contact. I can handle the repugnant smell and deal with the abhorrent facial sores. But if that guy next to me on the bus starts to
Finished
2017-05-31 20:48:42
Took
2 years, 204 days, 20 hours, 34 minutes, 35 seconds
46
After the couch lifted off the ground 6" and the china flew off the shelves and shattered, Megan read the label closely. There it was in tiny print: "May cause telekinesis."
Finished
2017-05-31 22:45:47
Took
4 years, 134 days, 1 hour, 35 minutes, 22 seconds
57
The great cities have risen & fallen. Civilizations grip on mankind is weak & arthritic. Dark forces renew forgotten covenants. Primordial beasts reclaim the wilderness. Out of the
Finished
2017-05-31 23:14:27
Took
4 years, 121 days, 4 hours, 48 minutes, 48 seconds
51
The wind was so strong I could barely felt my hands which are currently in my sweater's little pocket. "Tessa! Tessa!" Someone yelled. To my amaze, it was her.."Grandma!" I cried.
Finished
2017-06-01 00:20:04
Took
2 years, 325 days, 16 hours, 14 minutes, 9 seconds
37
Being an OB-GYN provides many interesting opportunities most people could not ever imagine. For example, just the other day, one of my patients named her baby "Placenta." No lie.
Finished
2017-06-01 17:34:05
Took
4 years, 192 days, 18 hours, 39 minutes, 37 seconds
45
Life is hard for chewing gum. Imagine being packed, pristine, in a little cardboard envelope, only hours later to be chewed by any undesirable who should choose to purchase
Finished
2017-06-01 17:47:24
Took
4 years, 162 days, 2 hours, 20 minutes, 51 seconds
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