Amy, being a junior cartographer, mapped out the house in crayon. She'd never been in her parents' room, but she'd heard impassioned screaming. "Here be dragons!" she scribbled

You can't blame Sidney for farting as a defence against unspeakable dread. It gave her courage & distance from the unfolding carnage & the retched smell kept the killer at bay

today was a day to remember. I heard the word

Ladies and Gentlemen, are you tired of Disco Clowns stealing the pies off your windowsills? Then try new Chuckle Acid™, the spray that dissolves clowns in seconds. Just spray and

Wilfred Brimley scowled at the children at the table. "Eat your Goddam oatmeal!" he spat, spraying bits of Jimmie Dean sausage & scrambled egg across the table into their terrified

I was paralyzed. All I could do was watch the ghostly white Count open his maw to drink the blood from my neck but when I saw his teeth, instead of two sharp fangs, two cashews

He gulped down his last swig of Maalox and then he champed down on his last piece of candy cigarette. As the early morning sun captured his eyes, all expression escaped from his

The broken promises didn't bother her as much as the broken heart but they didn't help when they started coming around to get paid. A re-compensation, they called it. I still had

"You know, it's crazy how we finish each other's..."

She looked down at her father's grave. She had tears in her eyes. A frown that could make the devil cry riddled her face. She broke down and wept, saying

Something weird happened to me today. I was sitting at work when I noticed a doorway appear out of the corner of my eye, but when I turned to look at the doorway, it disappeared.

Just so you know, I am narrating again. I told my reflection in the monitor next to my head that he, meaning me, should really go do those dishes that he started on this morning.

The teacher rocketed into the room. She was screaming and saliva squirted out of her mouth and hit me on the face. It was disgusting. I don't care who she thinks she is - that was

Capital Idea. I'd soon be hobnobbing with Bollywood starlets. Indians liked snow but the cold, brrrr. My patented ToastySnow™ already covered the landfill slopes outside Mumbai

All's fair in love and war.

This is a test.

"Pipes, pipes, pipes" he wheezed, "you'd think that, as a plumber, I'd be pretty damned sick of the things by now. And, you know what?" He paused to spit, noisily, onto the tarmac,

Most of my nights are restless. Jarvis is dead!?! How is that possible? Worse yet, how does Detective Marcus think I had anything to do with it. Murder? Me?

(was thinking of starting a dd/lg based book, would anyone be interested in helping?)

Reading Dune in the back a Disel station wagon driving through Kansas on a Summer road trip to visit my Grandmother in Lincoln, Nebraska. I am one with this book.