Two eyes and a nose emerged from the rock. Next a mouth opened and spat out a few pebbles. Then the rock man stood up. It wielded a mighty

"Who's there?" John asked into the echoing darkness. No one answered.

When New York's Macys unfurled the balloons for another Thanksgiving's day parade, no one knew what had been left in the back in 1924.

Before the cranial lobotomy, I was deeply depressed--manic. . .to the point of suicide. . .but, thanks to the handy work of Dr. Demented, and the staff at Psycho No More, I am

One, two, three. Four, five six. I want this to rhyme. Drumsticks.

Desperate for mockery, I head for the hives. I cry out "Dear bees! Did you know you can tell a tree's age by counting the rings inside its trunk?" I can sense the honey boiling in

"What the dentists absolutely don't warn you about is the real and salient threat of contracting floss finger by following their proscribed routine." The judge removed his specs.

You know people will always try to bring you down but you hold your head head high and stand for something.

"A 24 hr bus ride to Tijuana Ricardo! What in Cojones are we gonna do all this time?" But Ricardo was prepared & pulled out one bottle of coke, one of tequilla and two plastic cups

There was a little jellyfish that lives in the sea.

The Sun screamed, and Barnes smiled. "Such a miracle, brethen" He muttered

"Congratulations Ma'am on becoming 120. Can you share the secret of your old age?" "That's easy. Avoid death." "Could you um.. elaborate?" "When he visits the home, I'm not here."

Liz had just finished folding her laundry when Wilt walked into the Laundrymat and shoved his head in the Tumbler she'd just used. She head a muffled "Ahhhh..."

Why mercy me! Says right here I just won the $14 million dollar Nigerian lottery! Says it right here, see? Alls I gotta do it call this here number & give 'em my bank account num

The Sun screamed, and Barnes smiled. "Such a miracle, brethen" He muttered

I know it is custom for the husband to build the house after marriage but I can just build my own.

Hi

Did I just hear the Wilhelm Scream or was I just imagining it again?

Let me tell you a story about a man named Jedi.

After many years in the outback, a lone dingo made his way to