I was on hold for fifty-seven minutes before she came back and asked me for my information again. I told her calmly & politely my name and info. "Please hold" she said. I cracked.

When grandma hobbled up to me she put her hands out for a hug and then I sweeped her cane with my judo kick and grabbed her titanium white hair and smashed her head against

He heard the sirens getting louder as they drew closer to the Dunkin Donuts. Barry had

amazingly odd that the quarter had fallen on it's edge over 12 times! as he prepared to flip it again, there came a shout from across the street. It was mrs. gerdsley making some

The ionic chain lashed around his neck like a leash. It had an accelerator chip on it which jammed the messages in his spine. The prepulsor banged on the floor. The Borg said

It was the last time I would try eating cheese on toast and tie my shoes at the same time. The resulting mess caused Phillipa to finally snap.

The Geriatric Four was down to three again and interviewing for a fourth team member. Flatumaster leaned over and asked Hotflash, "So what's his superpower?". "He calls himself, "

The evil shopping cart sat out in the Target parking lot. Nothing about it would suggest that it had been made in hell. But here it was. Anyone who put items in it would

She told everyone she wanted her kid back. She even wrote to social services. But of course, she did NOT want her kid back. She wanted that thing they call free time, that sweet

Was it really happily ever after? Sure, the fairy tale wedding was great and all but the summary execution of the ugly sisters and wicked step mother left the peasants feeling

La mansión se encontraba rodeada de altos pinos. Al llegar el invierno, los habitantes de la mansión se trasladaban a la ciudad, y la mansión quedaba completamente sola.

Mr. Bunsy had a secret. A secret all his own. A secret he dared not share. Not with Mrs Bunsy, or dropsy not even with Timmy Turtle. In fact, especially not Timmy Turtle because

And he wiped his mouth with a gold towel. He looked at Zeek sheepishly. "Like that?" Zeek patted his shoulder, "That's how you earn your red wings." After that time

"Get the fuck out of my office!" screamed the executive. Ted stepped in. "Charlie, calm down." "Fuck you Ted, this asshole is pitching me a show about a UFO that's an egg?"

Rockets escape earth in the style of fleeing sperm puncturing outwards. We have never excelled with uterine-shaped projectiles; nevertheless, pilots all prize their parachutes.

"Thank you, kitty" he thought as he stepped over the blackbird on the welcome mat. When he went out to the mailbox, he noticed dead birds all over the place, and no traffic sounds

The lock was rusted shut, so I broke it with a crowbar. Opened the barn doors and there she was. 67 goat with 30 years of dust and mouse dirt. But I was determined to give

Legend says the old map would lead whoever follows it to riches unknown. At least that's what the grinning man in the tourist shop had told me when he took my 500 bucks. Now I was

Dancing with an umbrella in the rain, she kicked her galoshes at puddles and managed not to spill her triple americano. This was the best day of her life...well, except for that

The suborbital shock was a lot to take. Totally fogged up the Opticals. An Anders Marine had told me we only had five more increments before unleashing the Blood Hydras, so