Brian enjoyed pins and needles as much as the next man - but he didn't want them for breakfast EVERY day!

She couldn't handle living this way. Minimal money to pay the bills and living off cheap instant coffees and day old bread. Things had to change.

"They rolled in, unrelentlessly, full of vulgar...um I mean..." "CUT!!!!! JLo, Why? Why? Why, can't you get this right?"

I like playing 'let's pretend'.

"IS THE skin between your fingers SAGGING? Do people MURMER about your INNIE-CREASES? We at SKINNY-Ds Plastic Emporium have a one-stop surgical solution.

Teleportation is just a mater of completely digitizing and breaking down the body and reconstructing it at point of destination. Problems occur when the signal is hacked.

"Then you export the undelimited one into your VIOP account. Once it's been finalized, you can check it against the proxy." Said Candace. Mitch hurled the non-dairy creamer and scr

Jerry was eating dinner when his wife, Brunhilda, asked why he was wearing a stupid hat. Why couldn't she leave the subject alone? Did he ask why she called her mother twice a day?

It was a world of anorexic topheavy nymphomaniacs and developmentally delayed overmuscled bullies. Luckily, I had a secret weapon. My mind. With just a twitch of

Dirk was stirring his coffee with his usual steely purpose. He emphatically unwrapped two sugar lumps, examined them closely and rejected one as substandard. He dropped the more pe

How cool would it be if we had access to historical accounts of massive blunders and successes throughout history? Such a resource could really come in handy. Instead, we're

Hell was a real let-down. I'd lived in rural West Virginia and taught at a public school, so a lake of fire had nothing on the depirvations of entitled 10th grade inbred hillbilly

The pinnacle of masculinity. There has never before been so much man in one place.

Zolda was an extra large medium. Bob was really scared of her, but he needed to make contact with his late wife to find out where she had hidden the family jewels. Zolda's chins

He looked up, puzzled, from the article on dirty politics in the Ukraine. "Nobbler?" What the hell was a "nobbler?" Maybe it was a kind of

Agent Spitfire Wannamaker, this message if from the Deep Undercover Bureau of Secrecy (D.U.B.S.). For your eyes only. Contains Mission. Will self-destruck in 5 minutes. You must

Lion tastes good.Let's establish a beachhead to aggressively hunt their prides. We'll construct breathing apparatus from kelp & trap certain amounts of oxygen. Tuna commandos will

Being in the kitchen with David is my favorite thing to do. We laugh & sing, joke & drink wine while we're cooking. Things got out of hand one night though when we were making

Todays the day that will change my life and I am ready, it has been a long time coming and nothing will stop me, no longer encumbered I have the means and vision to complete it.

Hitragzutus was a minor demon responsible for making shower curtains cling to people while they showered. He longed to be assigned a higher torment by Beelzebub.