Dirk was stirring his coffee with his usual

Dirk was stirring his coffee with his usual steely purpose. He emphatically unwrapped two sugar lumps, examined them closely and rejected one as substandard. He dropped the more pe

rfect of the two in his coffee cup & withdrew his stainless steel eyedropper from his left pocket. Dirk then added 7 drops of caramel machiatto creamer & stirred 11.73 times. Dirk

used a heat probe to determine the brew was at an ideal 197.8 F. He smiled and brought the cup to his lips. "Hey Bro! Howse it goin'?" Dirk was slapped on the back, spilling coffee

down his Bob Marley Spliff t-shirt. "Dude!" He sheepishly shrugged as Dirk peeled his shirt off. "Hey, bro, I got this in Hedonism II in Jamaica." That's when he noticed Dirk's ab

Normal size teeth. He had fangs! Perhaps he would bite the bullet and just blurt out that he had been at the Casino when it burned down. He survived intact because he had to go to

the little bats room to unload some guano just before the Casino came down around him. He got lucky the bathroom was just above the vault which was designed to survive a nuclear bl

-anc-mange, lest one threaten to smother the city in its white sweetness. Bats can't stand that. They prefer darkness and bugs. The bat-room caved in (see what I did there?) and

it was a bat-astrophe. These were insectivorous bats (the fruitarian bats live elsewhere and still help pollination), and with them wounded, insect populations decimated harvests.

Only Batfink with his legendary wings of steel can save the insectivorous bats but he was wounded severely by Hugo A-Go-Go. As more insects continue eating our crops all hope was

not lost- Batfink appeared suddenly, swishing his wings of steel even though his body was severely wounded (thx Hugo A-Go-GO). And at the end of the day, Batfink died heroically.