Hogwart's, of course, was the preeminent school for young wizards in the wizarding world, but for those of the magical bent not bequeathed massive amounts of gold by their parents,

Just as she was showing him the door, (good riddance) an alert came off the TV. "Due to a Homeland emergency, everyone must stay indoors for the next 48 hours."

The most difficult part of my day is waking up. And no, I don't mean getting out of bed. I mean *waking up*.

I slay me.

"Que tu es un casse couille!" She was 4'11", sandy blond. "You're so sexy when you speak french," I murmured. Actually, French was her first and only language. And I was pretty sur

Strangely, the song "Like a Virgin" came to mind as I sat there getting my head shaved. Hundreds of "cranial prosthetics" surrounded me on faceless heads. I could reinvent myself

There it was again! A shadow, flitting in and out of view, as it headed towards Pamela with a slight whooshing sound. "Pamela! Look out!" I yelled, waving my arms to try and get

It wasn't the endless meetings or the constant questions that made Harold snap. It wasn't the incompetence or the tedium or the lack of respect or the overpriced Funyuns.

She became so engrossed in writing about burnt food in her fold that she forgot about the actual food on the grill. What's that smell?

the capstone was not what it was suppose to be. Wrong name, wrong date, wrong place, and yet it seemed incredibly right. How could it be so wrong and so right? Unless

The two women laid in his bed waited for him to get back.The black,thin one kissing the red head's breasts softly on the niples.She moaned and looked up to him when he came in from

Carnival. The kettle corn was almost shouting out the smell from the port-o-poties. Almost. The man in the red shirt was carrying a giant clown head under his arm. I lit my smoke a

We'd arranged to meet at our usual place: under the diplodocus's tail at the museum. Tourists were sitting around surrounded by their possessions like refugees fleeing a war zone

"What evidence do you have that the Zombie Apocalypse hasn't already started."

When I couldn't stand no more of Aunt Polly's civilizin' english lessons I reckon'd an Adventure like Tom related with real Cowboys & Injuns were just what was needed so I lit out

If you've ever bitten into an unripe plum at the precise moment of climax, then you know

Beware my son, the Rainbow pirates. Looking like mostly harmless later day hippies who want to save the world, they've been known to enter armed vessels with shaming banners

I'm done typing folds that are "like" bait. You're too smart for that, you god(dess) you. Mmm I wanna paint a keyboard on you and show you all the shortcuts. Would you "like" that?

"Miss Wong,yoa velvet kitty iiiz possess by bad spiriiiiit. Hong Luong ken cure dat. See maiii poten tiga stick is shua fayaa ghost busting dong. Just need to shoo shoo dem ghost

Jody readied himself for sleep. A silent and still reprieve (he hoped) from the mad, arbitrary clutter of the world in which he was embedded. Ten silent decades later, Jody awoke t