My stomach keeps grumbling. I think it's trying to communicate with me.

Back in the day, there was no such thing as Ephemerol to dull the mental noise of the ninnies. So when a great clamor arose over Shanyang's crusty boastings, Lao-tse headed for the

I felt my blood run cold as they slammed me down onto the frigid, metal table. I tried to struggle, but they only chuckled darkly at me. "Ain't no use tryin' 'ta escape." He said.

I spent a full year, birthday 30, sharing an apartment with a burly biker dude named James. We both were messengers, taking legal documents from attorneys and filing them in court.

One day, I died.

All day I had this uncomfortable fullness in my lower bowel region. To my horror, after work, I realized the problem was in my trousers. I unzipped them and staring back at me was

The grenade settled into place only feet away from him. That it had landed in the mud granted a rare opportunity for it to be returned to its owner. I crouched, calculating the

The bird fluttered onto my window sill and pecked away at my will to live. Each knock on the window pane was a reminder of the tequila I'd hoped to forget, but she was there, so

After about 50,000 thumbs up, between his lawn mower career and his lego hair on television, he will friend his dance this week on the cable network

The orange jumpsuit and grease-slicked hair made my brother look for all the world like the worthless punk he was. His nonchalance pissed off the judge enough that

The widow glanced at her watch and waited impatiently for the will to be read. It was almost sundown and if he was going to ruin it by showing up as a vampire, this would be his

They had been living in IKEA for 6 mos. now. They ate .99 cent Swedish meatballs everyday and lounged in the model front rooms. When they got sick of a decor, they just walked to

The scent of pine covered his fingers and reminded him it was Christmas time when he leaned a cheek against his fist. Only two days left, but five before Christmas. He would never

Twenty miles of hard road lay between them. He watched her through his hunting partner's binoculars and wondered how many days it would take to catch up. And was it worth it?

And the nominees for the best porn video title inspired by a mainstream movie name are

I sat down at the drum set. It had been a long time. Upstairs, I could hear the family whispering about something or another. I had enough. I took the drum sticks and began

Suzette saw stubble / on David's face / then went to Prom / with a guy named Chase / Burma Shave

He felt a sharp pain in his side as he scurried hurriedly down the ladder. He felt a numbing burning sensation at the core of his body. He knew how she felt

it was taking longer than expected. After the change , Dave thought himself immune to impatience, but it was taking too long. his telescopic range had grown but

the cat ran after the mouse.