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  • 36
    Avatar
    If Cookie Monster can indulge in 50 cookies before lunch, it must certainly be acceptable for me to devour 10 margaritas for breakfast after the night I've had! I can't believe
    Finished
    2013-04-13 11:34:52
    Took
    1 year, 236 days, 17 hours, 56 minutes, 41 seconds
  • 36
    Avatar
    It's not what it looks like I said as my sister walked into my room.I was just...
    Finished
    2013-01-19 17:04:17
    Took
    1 year, 150 days, 1 hour, 1 minute, 15 seconds
  • 36
    Avatar
    The spooky girl sat next to me on the train. I pretended to do a cryptic crossword. She whispered "Ever think that darkness is not the absence of light but a physical force?"
    Finished
    2015-05-14 01:20:04
    Took
    3 years, 249 days, 19 hours, 2 minutes, 16 seconds
  • 36
    Avatar
    I was surrounded. There were thousands of the monsters. Defeating them was inconcievable. Nevertheless, I drew my epic sword of destiny and prepared for their assualt. As they ran
    Finished
    2012-10-20 00:03:14
    Took
    1 year, 55 days, 8 hours, 23 minutes, 7 seconds
  • 36
    Avatar
    The crazy oldman lived the rest of his life being hated, completely broke, and... in love with a pigeon... This is hell... I am in hell. I am like an electric Jesus
    Finished
    2011-10-26 12:28:29
    Took
    60 days, 20 hours, 24 minutes, 45 seconds
  • 36
    Avatar
    Sid was acepted as a law student at Oxford University but he couldn't get accommodation on campus since the rooms were full. He looked up different student websites hoping to find
    Finished
    2012-10-17 17:17:44
    Took
    1 year, 52 days, 2 hours, 10 minutes, 1 second
  • 36
    Avatar
    This was my last chance to pop a wheelie on my motorcycle before the big Vegas show. Celine Dion
    Finished
    2014-04-20 13:46:18
    Took
    2 years, 235 days, 16 hours, 20 minutes, 28 seconds
  • 36
    Avatar
    The Sun and I aren't on speaking terms. We are both at fault, I suppose; she's been disappearing every night, and I've been seeing a tanning bed. We tried galactic counseling, but
    Finished
    2013-03-29 00:03:46
    Took
    1 year, 211 days, 19 hours, 30 minutes, 4 seconds
  • 36
    Avatar
    I suddenly found myself inside a yellow submarine. How did I get here? Why was Ringo Starr having tea with an octopus? And why the only sound I could make was "Goo goo g'joob"?
    Finished
    2014-04-22 17:34:59
    Took
    2 years, 232 days, 16 hours, 26 minutes, 53 seconds
  • 36
    Avatar
    ...You are five miles from your destination. Please take "The Yellow Brick Road" at the next exit. Continue for 2 miles until you reach the "Enchanted Forest." Witch Detour Ahead.
    Finished
    2015-01-21 19:35:58
    Took
    3 years, 134 days, 15 hours, 38 minutes, 58 seconds
  • 36
    Avatar
    After the success of his "A Slackers Guide to Life" and "A Slackers Guide to Work" he wondered who he was going to get to write "A Slackers Guide to Love".
    Finished
    2015-09-29 17:14:11
    Took
    4 years, 16 days, 9 hours, 46 minutes, 13 seconds
  • 35
    Avatar
    "It's chlorophyll," he declared, pointing at a glass of greenish liquid on the table, "The fountain of youth!" I eyed him suspiciously. "So you're a plant vampire then," I replied.
    Finished
    2011-06-07 09:41:07
    Took
    188 days, 9 hours, 59 minutes, 30 seconds
  • 35
    Avatar
    Sorry. I'm late - I was busy being groped at the airport. I gotta tell you, that's the first time I let another guy touch my junk when I couldn't blame it on too many beers.
    Finished
    2011-01-05 10:26:36
    Took
    33 days, 20 hours, 59 minutes, 35 seconds
  • 35
    Avatar
    I looked fearfully at the small woods bordering his home and at the finger of dark water that jutted out of the overgrowth and barely touched
    Finished
    2011-02-26 13:52:04
    Took
    85 days, 5 hours, 28 minutes, 43 seconds
  • 35
    Avatar
    In the offices of the Allen County Highway Department, Construction Manager Michelle Schmidt was sitting at her desk looking at site photos and engineering schematics and various
    Finished
    2011-01-15 19:44:13
    Took
    43 days, 11 hours, 14 minutes, 31 seconds
  • 35
    Avatar
    The carrion birds fought halfheartedly for the barely edible flesh of Ronald Stedman. He'd been mostly chemicals and electrolytes swirling through a barely human body for years.
    Finished
    2011-02-01 04:45:21
    Took
    57 days, 18 hours, 33 minutes, 32 seconds
  • 35
    Avatar
    Flipping through the channels he froze on UHF. He saw himself sitting there on the tv. His couch was on tv. His living room was on tv. He lifted the remote and
    Finished
    2011-01-05 10:16:22
    Took
    22 days, 9 hours, 54 minutes, 49 seconds
  • 35
    Avatar
    40 years underground with only IV feeding had made any taste seem special. In fact he was pretty sure the only reason he gotten any dates was for his man-made "protein shakes".
    Finished
    2011-06-04 18:25:36
    Took
    164 days, 16 hours, 3 minutes, 33 seconds
  • 35
    Avatar
    She cackled over the screams of the children. She wasn't accustomed to cackling, but it was all she could do not to piss herself every time one begged for help. Standardized tests
    Finished
    2011-05-06 08:53:15
    Took
    125 days, 16 hours, 24 minutes, 6 seconds
  • 35
    Avatar
    This morning when I dropped a deuce in the bowl I could smell our sex from last night. The yeasty moistness that your snapper gummed on my bumpy pole really made me
    Finished
    2011-09-16 16:29:15
    Took
    250 days, 16 hours, 20 minutes, 31 seconds
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