I wanted to make a warm and fuzzy crayola drawing of two puppies playing tug 'o war with a tube sock. Then the owner smiling. The caption reads, "Fuck the police." If I gave

You live across the street. You have no neck. A man on a motorcycle visits infrequently. You are blonde, but clearly not having more fun. Hunchback mama please

Looking out over the canyon, Stan wondered how it had come to this. The last thing he remembered was jamming in the suppositories and then it was all a blur. He had a faint

It was a turnip. Big fat fettid gritty root vegetable. It sat on the Starbuck's counter, pointing it's weird wiry little root tip thingy at

I opened the refrigerator, from top to the bottom it was filled with capers, maraschino cherries, pimentos, and variety of other pickled whimsies. But where was the food?

Harpreet Singh was a NCY cabbie. He loved his job. His prodigious memory and friendly chattiness made him the best cabbie in the city. He never forgot a face or an address until

I could never remember the date, although I had a photographic memory. I could still remember the luscious red roses I passed when I walked to school. But now I needed the date as

Yo that infamous woods poet is back in your earhole. I serve game in forested areas with lyrics like 'yo squirrel, suck on deez nuts!' and 'c'mere bunny rabbit, take a nibble

He didn't much like opera, but frequented opera cafes to hit on the singing waitresses. He was addicted to the ecstatic involuntary songs they sang during orgasm

Un día de primavera Laura va eixir de sa casa per anar a l'escola. Com pensava que faria un poc de fresca portava una jaqueta blava damunt de la camisa. Al poc d'anar caminant

The man on the cellphone talked loudly. He was like a klaxon with a bad script. He was white but yucked it up like House of Payne. The people around him were trying to enjoy

When the "Association" had taken over the energy ports, they'd placed a ton of new restrictions and tariffs that of course slowed everything down. But he could wait

The file cabinet contained it all. When she was blabbing with the others she never let her eyes rest on it. No no no no. That would be too obvious. But when she was sure she was

As starliner Ariela returned to the homey sight of Titan, Bertie Grunch, Salad Prep 2nd Class, was filled not with a sense of wonder, but bitter hatred toward the glitterati in the

"There, how does that feel?" "Oh, you put it in already?" Chuckle. "Yes, I told you it was small. We're going to put another one in. How's that?" "Fine, I guess." Acupuncture

After the accident, he was able to taste music. The Overture from the Flying Dutchman was lime jello. Motorhead's Ace of Spades, burnt grilled cheese.

When New York's Macys unfurled the balloons for another Thanksgiving's day parade, no one knew what had been left in the back in 1924.

Dora the Explorer hated children. It was the network's big secret. She lived in a retirement community that disallowed kids. She herself was 98, but due to Gary Coleman disease

Guido Takahashi regretted the cruelty of his calling. On Earth, people's lives were so circumscribed, so delimited, so predictable that internal screaming

Knivskjellodden. Just a few more meters in the icy water and a sheer cliffs face between him and the end of his journey. His start in Gavdos seemed eons ago. Even extreme athletes