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  • 53
    Avatar
    No. Fuck you very much. I will not pull
    Finished
    2013-08-22 15:43:32
    Took
    2 years, 60 days, 15 hours, 7 minutes, 13 seconds
  • 53
    Avatar
    "What! No more doughnuts? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
    Finished
    2012-12-13 17:55:48
    Took
    1 year, 172 days, 17 hours, 36 minutes, 45 seconds
  • 53
    Avatar
    Comparisons to be drawn between "the virile" and "the virulent" are perhaps as close as the similarities in spelling. Alternatively, cretins and imbeciles seem dissimilar, correct?
    Finished
    2011-08-14 15:07:58
    Took
    43 days, 23 hours, 1 minute, 26 seconds
  • 53
    Avatar
    Writer's block is a bitch.
    Finished
    2013-09-03 14:44:21
    Took
    2 years, 52 days, 8 hours, 2 minutes, 36 seconds
  • 53
    Avatar
    It started with eating my own fingers and progressed. I've eaten a whole arm and half my left leg so far. My doctor is concerned but I can't stop and I really like the look of my
    Finished
    2013-07-11 07:05:56
    Took
    1 year, 358 days, 21 hours, 3 minutes, 40 seconds
  • 53
    Avatar
    The Barrista was pretended that the coffee shop was the Bridge of the USS Enterprise and that he was
    Finished
    2013-02-27 16:38:26
    Took
    1 year, 224 days, 17 hours, 24 minutes, 36 seconds
  • 53
    Avatar
    one day i was riding my dirt bike when i decide to try to jump. I got just above twenty feet when suddenly my bike slipped from under me and I
    Finished
    2013-05-01 00:47:22
    Took
    1 year, 263 days, 8 hours, 51 minutes, 30 seconds
  • 53
    Avatar
    Due to cuts in educational funding, the board has narrowed the periodic table to the four basic elements of earth, air, fire and water. Some other changes we wil implement are
    Finished
    2012-01-09 14:25:40
    Took
    148 days, 6 hours, 27 minutes, 27 seconds
  • 53
    Avatar
    Critics are praising this folding story. "The Greatest Story Ever Told!" says the Hollywood Reporter. "You couldn't see that end coming!" says Rolling Stone. 'In a world where
    Finished
    2012-12-21 01:33:45
    Took
    1 year, 124 days, 3 minutes, 50 seconds
  • 53
    Avatar
    He gingerly fingered his wound. They hadn't done him any real favors, leaving him alive as they did. Although he did have to admit
    Finished
    2011-08-27 08:04:45
    Took
    6 days, 9 hours, 54 minutes, 32 seconds
  • 53
    Avatar
    We dove off the coast of Šventoji. The nets had pulled up small chunks of amber. Sonar indicated a dome shaped structure. The Princess Jūratės palace of amber was within my grasp!
    Finished
    2014-01-05 21:52:10
    Took
    2 years, 127 days, 23 hours, 8 minutes, 5 seconds
  • 53
    Avatar
    The second thoughts he had after he plummeted over the Niagra Horseshoe Falls in an inflatable bouncy ball were swiftly erased by the tonnage of fresh water fast approaching.
    Finished
    2013-03-28 01:41:14
    Took
    1 year, 185 days, 20 hours, 45 minutes, 11 seconds
  • 53
    Avatar
    I'm a satellite scavenger, a dangerous occupation. Governments & corporations don't like their technological secrets getting out. You have to b e quick. I'd narrowed the impact
    Finished
    2014-03-07 12:28:14
    Took
    2 years, 163 days, 18 hours, 1 minute, 59 seconds
  • 53
    Avatar
    Pizza. Ausgerechnet Pizza. Keine Banane. Nein. Auf einem Stück seiner Leib- und Magenspeise musste er ausrutschen. Heilige Scheiße! Welcher Honk hatte die denn fallen lassen?
    Finished
    2014-05-09 14:20:11
    Took
    2 years, 223 days, 1 hour, 33 minutes, 31 seconds
  • 53
    Avatar
    Why do I hate Bono he wondered.
    Finished
    2013-12-03 08:34:47
    Took
    2 years, 53 days, 4 hours, 29 minutes, 10 seconds
  • 53
    Avatar
    "Your Honor, My client is innocent of the charges filed. He was in a car accident and lost his left arm. The arm donor was a notorious shoplifter so you see he couldn't help it."
    Finished
    2012-05-22 02:05:14
    Took
    212 days, 4 hours, 37 minutes, 3 seconds
  • 53
    Avatar
    Maid Marion decided that she was not a liberated woman after all. In fact, the recent feminist dialogue had deprived her of the choice of being a stay at home mom. So she went
    Finished
    2013-09-30 14:40:56
    Took
    1 year, 341 days, 22 hours, 25 minutes, 37 seconds
  • 53
    Avatar
    A scarecrow, a lion, and a tin woodsman walk into a bar. The tin woodsman orders a pint of oil, the scarecrow asks for a haymaker, and the lion requests a
    Finished
    2013-04-11 02:40:09
    Took
    1 year, 167 days, 5 hours, 44 minutes, 31 seconds
  • 53
    Avatar
    "I've done it!" he exclaimed, raising the turkey baster in triumph. "I've extracted pure beige." An air of excitement filled the lab as his TA embraced him. But Crayola's lawyers
    Finished
    2013-04-24 03:01:22
    Took
    1 year, 149 days, 11 hours, 41 minutes, 17 seconds
  • 53
    Avatar
    My upstairs neighbors were at it again. I tried to tune them out but found myself tapping my foot to the rhythmic creak of old floorboards and mattress springs. Their moaning grew
    Finished
    2013-10-26 12:06:35
    Took
    1 year, 303 days, 2 hours, 32 minutes, 18 seconds
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