The great cities have risen & fallen. Civilizations grip on mankind is weak & arthritic. Dark forces renew forgotten covenants. Primordial beasts reclaim the wilderness. Out of the

After the couch lifted off the ground 6" and the china flew off the shelves and shattered, Megan read the label closely. There it was in tiny print: "May cause telekinesis."

At all costs, I'm just trying to avoid eye contact. I can handle the repugnant smell and deal with the abhorrent facial sores. But if that guy next to me on the bus starts to

He decided that it was time to break up with the newspaper. He'd let the relationship go on for longer than he should have because he was afraid to hurt the paper's feelings.

"Wow, it's a good thing my costume has no socks," said Sarcastiman. "I bet they would've been knocked off by the immensity of this new assignment, Cap'n." Captain Frank rolled

"What are you doing?" Jeanine asked Bob. "I'm howling silently like you told me to, of course!" Bob was growing puce & Jeanine worried that his already high triglycerides would clu

Rainbow Dash screamed in agony as Pinkie Pie used her devilish instrument to extract that... thing. "Rainbow dash, stop screaming, I cant take out your splinter without tweezers!"

As I laid in bed all I could hear was a loud creaking noise as if someone was walking on hard wood floors, thing is my house is tiled completely.

The night after Cyndi Lauper moved into the condo adjacent to mine, she began slamming into the connecting wall while screaming "SHE-BOP!", a performance which would prove a habit.

Hoomla! To weezum again the gentle caterpunk of the Shrincken lava pits. To intartly pinckle the Humbles of Funnickly. Salop! I Fagan, am a duppled patiworl, snaping for a grumlop!

I am an invisible mangonel.

The wind blew in through the open window.

The Ratgod checked his Chinese horoscope for 2013 and learned, to his dismay, that this is the year he would most likely experience loneliness.

habia cinco cerdos

I started to poop, the sloppy mass falling out of my anus into the bowl, I say a child run up to me. "gotacha" he screamed chasing me but he didn't want me he wanted my pooped,

The Church of the Science of Baloney was based on a book written by old Mother Cupboard in collaboration with the old woman that lived in a shoe. A lock picker read the book and

A freshly sharpened pencil. Your favorite song. Cool water on a hot day. Hot water on a cool day. A good joke. The second beer. Requited love. Wildflowers. Snow on Christmas Day.

The new restaurant, simply titled "( )*( )", intrigued us, was the talk of the town. The name wasunpronounceable, the menu eclectic ("Curried walrus in balsamic reduction" was one

He drank whenever he could. He was a silent drunk. Hell, he'd been totally blacked out yesterday at work, no one knew. Once someone confessed that they'd killed their child to him

"Is it wrong?" he asked. "Wrong? What does wrong even mean?" the umpire said. The batter knocked the dirt off his cleats, "I don't know, socially wrong." The umpire smiled, "Hentai