"Is it wrong?" he asked. "Wrong? What does

"Is it wrong?" he asked. "Wrong? What does wrong even mean?" the umpire said. The batter knocked the dirt off his cleats, "I don't know, socially wrong." The umpire smiled, "Hentai

The Clown was a terrible name", said the catcher, Steven Wright, "now let's play some ball." Now the batter smiled, "that's what she said" and then struck out.

He never could make it to first base, literally OR figuratively! But that was okay - he didn't need women. He didn't need bases. He didn't need ANYTHING. Because he had

NEEDAWAY! This revolutionary product not only fulfills all your needs, but it makes sure you never need anything again!" Billy Mays grinned at the camera, giving a thumbs up as he

vanished. The ad execs, no longer in need of Mays's services, sprayed him with NEEDAWAY. The utilitarian product teleported Billy to a home in need of sodium percarbonate agents.

He couldn't eat for three days,

but after that he was famished, so he ate three okonomiyaki, a Maluku baleen whale fry, a beduin stuffed camel, a giant squid on a spit, and goliath beetle skewers. Finally sated

he leaned back and belched in satisfaction. This was the life, really, he realized as he looked around. What else could he possibly want? Well, maybe dessert. Crème de la Crustacea

The proprietor began to sweat. He knew the kitchen did not have the ingredients for a Creme de la Crustacea. He sent Waldo to the market right away but he would have to stall. He

raced about the kitchen; frenetic and paranoid. Where's Waldo?! he shouted. He knew the end was upon him. There would be no soup, no soap, no radio.