There once was a man named Fred. Fred was very tall and had long blue hair, he had to shop at a special store because he was so tall! Fred really liked to wear blue jeans.

Harrison sat bored glaring at his grossly incomplete essay willing to ignite into a fiery inferno.

A jobsworth is a person who uses their job description in a deliberately uncooperative way, or who seemingly delights in acting in an obstructive or unhelpful manner. "I can't do

Waka Flocka Flame was walking through the hood when he decided that he wanted to become the president.

Mrs. Comfrey rapped on the blackboard and listened. She drew a circle with her special chalk, and laid some salt in the chalk tray, as well as jalapenos, banana peppers, huevos

"Yes sir. Mm hmm. Yes. The human female appears to possess all the physical attributes generally prized by the male of this species. Right. OK. Well, do you want me to

The vampire bit into her neck. He had no idea that Janis Joplin had just taken 8 hits of acid. All the LSD in her blood went straight up his fangs and into

I want to take a moment to reverse-thank the weight lifting wife thanking rocket scientist fire fighter on social media. It's a two way double edged sword here.

C3PO realized they were playing hacky-sack with a "Thermal Detonator!"

But what they've never heard of is Groundhog's night! The sinister gleam in his eye

Mr Hall was walking to school one morning when the most amazing event happened!

"What if, instead of a water cycle, there were a pizza cycle? Discarded crusts would evaporate and..." The Nobel Committee listened intently. Einstein's latest thought experiments

"You know why they have musk-mellons at weddings? because they CANTALOPE!" The bride rolled her eyes heaven-ward. Why did he pick HIM for the Best-Man, Why?

"Don't sit under the ninja tree, with anyone else but me," sang Veronica to herself under the big old oak on Hilliard's farm. The boys around here are so predictable, she thought,

I can count to potatoe!

Sanic da hedghod and Tail the Echidna were walking through Gren hell zome, when all of a sudden Eggpan came and hit us with a boopy hammer. Then Jon was all like "DA BOOPINIST" and

He was a small town loser who stayed up late at night thinking of becoming a "vigilante" and taking back the streets. But he was also paralyzed from the neck down.

At the hallway,on a tiny round table,a huge vase full of lilacs made her uneasy.Tamara was not the most graceful creature and with her luc, trying to walk by that set would prove

She stood there, pick axe in her hand, pools of blood by her feet. All was silent,

At strip malls, people usually kept their clothes on. But at many abandoned shopping malls, some people sat on the benches naked, ruminating about the passage of time, watching