12 ways to admit you are wrong: 1) slather your lips with the deepest red lipstick and kiss the mirror writing "I'm sorry" with the mascara 2) fall on the floor moaning in grief

With consummate ease he put the lime in the coconut. Across the room, his rival had just succeeded in putting the bomp in the bomp-bah-bomp-bah-shomp. Meanwhile, in Rio, the

truthfully, my sister was a lesbian. she'd been getting pretty close to me lately, and it freaked me right out. never been into the whole incest thing.

"I'm an expert knife catcher. You there, butcher in the assassin's garb, I bet you have a knife. Throw it here, and I'll catch it. Just make sure it doesn't spin, that's too hard."

But were there rules? If there were rules who set them? Some of the stories got better when no one followed any rules. Some of the stories got better when the rules were followed.

The interrogator slammed his fist down, causing the metal table between us to tremble. "Where have you hidden the bodies?!" His patience was wearing thin.

He could no longer stand on his two feet. He could no longer stand at all, for he couldn't have imagined that

As I scavanged through my list of 256 facebook 'friends' to find a single, hot girl, I came across someone I didn't expect to find in facebook, my

The rain hammered down like the armies of Odin as the monk rose from his slumber and crawled to the door. "Mercy!" he cried to himself as the thunder rumbled across the Himalalayas

Some would say she was a cat hoarder. A little crazy, but innocently overrun with cats. But I knew better. Actually she was evil, conniving with the cats to

The only light was a console TV fizzling static. I looked deeply into the pattern of the avocado shag carpet.The stains from the Pabst Blue Ribbon were telling me something. "Now."

"Just cos you're tied to the porch doesn't mean you can't bark at the cars." My beer foamed through my nose. "Dad, I thought your beer belly was to hide the unemployed dwarf."

"Stick it where the sun don't shine!" Mel advised, adjusting his eyepatch and hitching up his kilt. I laughed derisively. "Broccoli won't grow in the shade, you sorry excuse for a

For years during every thunderstorm I rushed to mix chemicals in front of any available window, hoping that, by some miracle, the accident that gave the Flash his powers would be

I love calamari. Or at least what I *thought* was calamari. Turns out there's a good chance I've been eating pig bung all this time. Oh, you say you don't know what bung is??

Slowly Margaret lowered herself down on to the dining hall chair. She hoped they'd have chocolate pudding today - she really enjoyed smearing it all over her face and flinging it

The Elite of the FoldingStory Leaderboard convened to discuss some troubling matters. On the agenda: (1) Non-compliance with the FS Rules and (2) the passive aggressive use of

One happy day I woke up full of joy and with an overwhelming sense of security and self-confidence. It was really a glorious day. Did I mention it was the best day ever?

At what age is one expected to start buying Christmas presents? I hated it when I was growing up. When I was 14 I bought my cousin Cindy (she was hot!) a pair of

So, it happened that Texas actually DID secede from the rest of the United States. To make up the deficit of states, Puerto Rico was made the new 50th, and we invaded Newfoundland