The Nomads charged ahead in their bulldozers. Better to teach The Settlers about the perils of home ownership before it was too late. They plowed through the cottage of an elderly

After their relativistic journey back to an earthlike planet in the year 5239 A.D. Cdr.. Landly, and Mj. Stroganoff discover that an intelligent species of Pachyderm rule

He lit the lamps of his hermitage and opened the doors of his soul. Finally! A lengthy reprieve from the workaday world of an alien culture. He shed the attire of exile, and put on

To begin with there didn't seem to be anything happening. It was quiet. It was dark. It was still. When it did happen, it wasn't sudden, but a slow building of noise and movement

It's so easy to say 'this is the last one' when you're still holding it and haven't eaten it yet.

This wasn't going to end well. I had barricaded the doors but the SWAT team was here and I knew from experience that they don't always play nice. There was already one body, and

The self-referential haikus about Mandelbrot sets notwithstanding, Ike's ego was insufferable. His mother often told him

I woke up in the morning feeling a little shitty. I grabed my glasses and headed out the door. I'm going to hit this city, but before I leave I'm going to brush my teeth with

It was a stoke of luck that the pirates left me on this planet in this area. Little did they know that this had been my "Fortress of Solitude" as I roamed the Universe in search

I know I'm just a robot, a metal man. But I love you. I love you more than your parents ever will. Could you please

Brad knew the sex games he played were dangerous, but he didn't care. He inserted the picturesque fifty-millimeter chrome pistol into Connor's ass -- slowly.

It made me feel like dancing. It made me feel like "dirty" dancing. So I

I am a buissnes man, my name is Omega and I like to do buissnes related activities 98% of the day, the other 2% I like to do things involving fast and quick

"DAH-BEE-DUS." And with that latest failed attempt at enunciation, Wilford Brimley's agitated speech coach stormed out of the trailer and moved on with her life.

It was a dark and stormy night. "No, that's not right" thought Clive as he crumpled the paper and threw it across the room where it landed with other crumbled paper forming a giant

Eventually, all species will become one

He saw the paper toilet seat covers. He pulled out his baggy. Inside was a powdered eczema flakes, scabs, blister husks and dried puss. He blended them in the coffee grinder. Then

She watched the purple mist rise off the trees and wondered how long the rock where she squatted would hold. She slowly reached a tentacle out, thinking, "Well, at least it isn't

He listened to They Might Be Giants which only confirmed he was a nerd. But he was also dumb. Being a dumb nerd was like being the lumpen proletariat because

Question: Is it a bad sign if you get too lazy to smoke weed? I had the bong all loaded but just couldn't get motivated to fire it up. Instead I played