His bus was late. Bored, Geofry licked his palms and approached the Forshay Tower. With subtle suction, he slowly crawled up the side. By the sixth floor, he realized that

That commercial on TV has it all wrong. The best part of waking up is

Jemima was filled with a dark and familiar sense of foreboding as she read the message scratched into the gnarly tree bark. This could mean only one thing: the otters were back.

My fantasy changed somewhat in that moment to a vision of me shooting my car first, then myself. As my chin sank into my chest in defeat I heard someone crying.

He'd spent three hours constructing shapes in the sand that extruded out so that the sun's shadow would create his proposal. Her face filled with horror. The tidal wave behind him

His was was so fat that he'd fallen in and out of love with her four times as she grew to her current size. Unfortunately, she hit size where he was permanently out of love so

Along with a good portion of the country, I am still unemployed.

Milk was slowly spreading across the formica. He picked up the punctured carton and looked up at the ceiling. There was a small smoking hole. Why did I rent a duplex? he wondered.

I just got my Android. However, an history of awesomness before i get the damn Android is inevitable to listen to. Well, i was here, at the bar, drunk, talking with friends, when

Roberta was fed up! The population had exploded & she could no longer grab her favourite seat on the bus. Drastic action had to be taken. She decided to

My name is Bob, and i live in a corrupted city with no name. Bob started to run away from the pineapple gang when suddenly Bob stumbled onto a

And then he finally said it, "Jesus Christ! Shut up with the rules. If I'd known you'd be like this I wouldn't have married you." And then she folded her arms and

He let slip a few of the grenades. Just enough that it would send a lesson to anyone who followed. His mother, however, wouldn't be around to teach it to his brothers who followed

He stared up at the high-tension wires. A bird landed and promptly combusted. It was all falling into place. "THAT is how they are controling my brain! THAT IS WHY

First it was the vampires versus the humans. The it was vampires versus werewolves. Then the vampires versus the zombies. What was it with those fucking vampires not getting along

It was around that time that the owner of the establishment came flying out of the bathroom door at the side of the station. His pants were unbuckled and he looked as if he were

The photon lazier is a bit different from the photon lazer-- similar, but about like celery and carrots floating in the same stew bound for the gut and eventually the city pipes.

"Snap." The pencil tip broke. She clicked to bring down more lead. "Snap." She cursed under breath. "Hold on," she muttered into the phone. "I'll be

After about 50,000 thumbs up, between his lawn mower career and his lego hair on television, he will friend his dance this week on the cable network

I got detention for calling my teacher a bumhole. I thought it was clever, he disagreed. The thing about detention is that you get to learn all these neat tricks from the bad kids.