Eunuchs of the Universe, I call to thee when I hold aloft this Vibrating Ring of

This endless procrastination has to stop. Please make it stop!!

This is the day I thought we were going to go on holidays but for some reason things changed. What do I do now? I didn't plan to be back at work so quickly. How do I tell the boss

Boca Beth instructional language DVDs worked too well for Tommy. He now spoke in eclectic blends of Spanish, Na'vi, and Zulu. "Hola, triéa-ióang, clip-clop-clip," he told his mom.

As I descended into anesthesia, the surgeon asked, "Paper or plastic?" "Paper," I dreamily replied. My rhinoplasty was performed without a hiccup, but I awoke to a paper nose and

"We're turning your bedroom back into the computer room." father told me. My toothy grin vanished almost instantly.

I saw the sun rising. It was shining. I stopped and saw the sun rising. Rising and shining. The sun was rising. So bright so shining.

When I was younger I still dreamed. Now I concede that I cannot do things as they should be done, and do them as they must. It's only here I can play. Follow my whim, fold a care

Xino, a young boy in a small town of Varuna was a simple teenager, he went to school, trained in martial arts, and above all, was an overall good student, but one day

I found it hard to find fault with them, but that didn’t absolve them of their responsibility. A quick check of my mental inventory listed the likeliest location of my missing

"No," Lloyd murmured. "I don't think I'll ever get over you." "Well TRY!" Lisa said. "Here, let me help you."

Charlotte was one pissed off butterfly.

The Capitol Records boardroom was quiet. The assistant to the music exec said, my idea is a group called, "Def-tones-Loc." It's part 80's rock, Hip-Hop and

"I didn't puke on the computer screen!" I yelled. "Well, maybe a little..." My Dad was fuming. Didn't I tell you NOT to ever watch Twilight?! The mere mention of the movie caused a

Dragging through yet another day. I remember when I was younger - when it didn't take quite so much effort to lift my feet off the ground.

I couldn't believe it had happened to me.

My latest dieting epiphany is the all-pill diet. For breakfast I have 2 glucosamine/chondroitins, a calcium, a vitamin D, 2 vitamin Cs, a baby aspirin, & a large ginko biloba. For

Weird stories are told of the fabulously rich and brilliant, Sir Francis Dashwood who was notorious for

I lounge in my bedroom, my cat meows to be let in. Five minutes later, she wants back out to use the litter box, and I must use the bathroom. I get a drink of water, so does she.

I turned around, my opponent right on my tail. I had to make it away fast before something really bad happened. Something really bad like- "AVADA KEDAVRA!"