once he had completed all the heavy lifting, the rest of the move would be easy. caskets tend to weigh a lot though so the use of a crane came to mind. birds cant lift heavy stuff

I counted the items in the small plastic bag again. "Nope. I have two bolts when I only need one bolt and I'm missing a small screw", I scanned the hieroglyphs in the instructions

Cheap perfume and cigarettes filled the air. The priest was defiantly out of his element here. Why had he let himself come to such a god forsaken party?

Ryan leaned in, raised his hand to his brow to block out the daylight and squinted through the tiny porthole in the door. As his eyes adjusted, the shape of a

Johnson burst into the room, white-faced and panic-eyed. "The Pentagon's not llama-proof!" Someone stood, clutched their face, and screamed like a dying yak. General Specific

I thought she looked out of place but I couldn't think why. She'd wrapped her skirt around her legs & was humming a tune. It was her hair which was wrong and I realised that she

Kimberley Stockholm was a goddess - she had legs that were a mile long, teeth that you could see your reflection in, and hips

I burst through my cheating ex's window like the Kool Aid mascot and smashed the pothead's computer and TV to smithereens with his own baseball bat. Then I set his house on fire.

"What if we turn it this way?" Jesse asked, stepping back to look at the diagram. "I have no flipping clue, Jess. It still looks like the plans for a Rube Goldberg machine or a

Happy at last to be leaving Vermont, Dave was stunned to find that ten feet beyond the state line, the road ended in a grove of pine trees, not a smidgen of asphalt to be seen for

They each took turns at that papery little skank. "Aw yeah, you like those letters all over you, you filthy story? I'm gonna fold you so tight, your crease could slice butter!"

"I dunno, Angel Bunny Harvey, it looks like Mr. Thorwald is burying something in his garden," Fluttershy whispered. Angel worried how this would affect his damn salad. Flutters

It's a true and universally known fact that cats like to lick the inside of shoes. This pleases them and brings good luck to the owner. Once the shoe full of cat spit is put on

The flight attendant came along on her Velcro shoes. "Peanuts or almonds, Mr. Whitman?" She noticed his six-shooters. "TBH, ma'am, I could go for a breakfast burrito and a liter of

I was in my room when i saw a spider and it bit me. I turned into spiderwoman and got green goblin and then i was on my way home when another spiderwoman came up and it was on, so

He opened the press and added the ink. Using her skin at the poster board was a sparkling little inspiration he'd gotten when she bent over to get the meatloaf out of the

"Semiotics? Idiotics!" Sarge growled. I knew it was going to be a long day. My name is Friday and I carry a badge. I work Dei Watch and it looked like we had a gang of

I grabbed the towel rack. It came out of the wall. I swear it was so big. Water splashed up.

The three weird brothers gathered at the first tee. Jasper, as was his wont, picked up the golfball with his mind and gave it a good toss. Brougham

With chisel and hammer and long hours worked till dawn. Blood encrusted fingers which ooze slowly down. Eyes that pop and hands that seize with both tongue and lips gripping