I live in fear at Starbucks. I am a Barrista of misery, for I suffer from alien hand syndrome.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was the first day of school! I was ready to return. This was, afterall, my senior year and I was looking forward to

It was early on a Saturday morning when I first discovered that my right arm could pass through any object, up to my elbow if I wanted it to. I started off using it in order to

Corky the Cockroach had a confounding conundrum. He hated germs, filth, & fouling food. While other roaches waded into the resaurant's raunchy remains, he gingerly picked pristine

He crept into the particle accelorator control room. Being the custodian here had its upside, he thought. The controls looked complicated. I wonder what this button does?

It started off as a completely normal day in the Turner household. Mr. and Mrs. Turner were at work, and Timmy was up in his room talking to his weirdly colored fish.

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With my mind's eye focused on the idea that an infinite number of monkeys on an infinite number of typewriters will eventually create a work of Shakespeare I set about assembling

Once upon a time, Sailor Moon came down and saved the

As President Obama waved at the cheering crowd, Mitt Romney's form seemed to bulge and melt. Suddenly, his face split open, revealing a toothed maw and six waving tentacles, aimed

As she ran frantically down the street she ran into....

I thought that the quickie with a flight attendant was a testosterone-imbued cliché of young business executives. As a seasoned frequent-flyer, I scarcely believed the wink she

Camping in the Yard in summer was great,he thought lying in his tent.Then heard droplets trickle on the tent wall.Was it rain?Someone giggled. It was piss! He reached for the taser

She stood before me naked and I felt my eyes wandering her body. Meandering until they became firmly fixed on a small dark spot on her upper thigh. What was that? I started to ask,

Kasey had this great idea for a restaurant - the International Space Station would release cows into the atmosphere and the heat of reentry would cook them to tender perfection.

I reached out with my mind and subtly milked the endocrine glands of the kid next to me in lab, causing a surge of adrenaline to flow throughout his body. With a mighty jerk, he

"Okay, okay, I'll do this just once, and then it is off to bed." The toddler nodded her head vigorously. He brought out the trampoline, the kazoo, and the ocelot.

Fold this, scumbag!

It was an exquisite corpse. The ends were perfect from the beehive coif to the freshly french manicured toes. The only problem I could see was the middle. It needed something like

Pen against paper, but no words come out. No thoughts whatsoever. Just nothing. I didn't understand how my hypergraphia could change so quickly into writers block. It did. And now