"No, Jaspers did not write your name on the couch in sharpie. Come out of your room when you are ready to tell the truth." Closing the door, I looked at the dog. "We need to talk."

"Wot aboot the moonwalkin' parrot there? Give you a quid for im." "What'dya say? "Hello, are ye daft? MJ? He's mee prize, hee iis. Lookit. He kin sing 'Billy Jean's not mee Bird.'

The sun set in the west behind the three sisters & the first star shown in a deep blue sky. A tall slim cowboy rode on his lanky steed whistling Indian Love Call. The butte echoed

Come on Millie! Come on, girl. Let's go! COME ON MILLIE!! Want a goodie? Turkey?? Bye-byes??

"Oh, really? Really? Oh, oh, that's just, that's just great. Oh, yeah, fantastic. You're a real charmer. You should take that act on the road."

"What's with the plexiglass walls?" said Deathwish the drummer. Qaugmire explained, "We're trying to make a bold statement", but secretly he thought "Your rapid pounding is ruining

La soledad es una opresión constante de noches oscuras y amargos atardeceres. Genera tanto dolor que

When you eat too many Fudgesicles in the summertime, your shorts get tight. When you wear tight shorts, you can't decide if you feel sexy or portly. When you're indecisive, you

If you are going to criticize someone - feel free to criticize the weaknesses of their convictions or the content of their character with abandon, but when you focus your attack on

So I accidentally discovered King Solomon's Mines, Shangra La, Mu, Lemuria and Atlantis all in one evening while using Google Maps.

Once upon a time in Hell, the silliest little demon, Stan, accidentally brought his spoon to work instead of his pitchfork. But Stan grew bored with jabbing evil mortals in the bum

I would be ashamed if you could hear my snarky thoughts. Like the pang of guilt an axemurder feels while axeing a vixen into smooshy eighths, this is how I know I'm a good person.

Let's talk about things taken out of context for a second. For example, if you were employed, & your paid job was to blow on a fire to keep it stoked, would you say you had a good

When the Organization for the Prohibition of Chemical Weapons overstepped its bounds and outlawed the use of salt in domestic settings, the Salt Lords rebelled to overthrow them.

Small, round, fragrant when cut. Not just an unripe lemon. A military weapon. A tantric tonic against evil. Skin exposed to the juice and then sun can develop phytophotodermatitis.

I didn't plan on becoming a courtesan. But when I met the Comte de Camembert at the Opera de Ville, I couldn't resist his offers of chateaux, gold Louis and fine stallions. Helas!

"Don't forget to stop and smell the roses once in a while," my mom said. It's as if she didn't know that inefficiency is a federal crime. I stepped into the teleportation chamber

All ye beware. The great Guinea Pig Purger has come. He shall cleanse the world of all wickedness--and guinea pigs.

Once upon a time when all the walri were nearly dead and the cat ran away with the spoon the sniper took out his sandwich and began to eat. Suddenly he heard the sound of a

A coffee mug flew across the room, crashing against the kitchen wall. The pots & pans rattled overhead while the oven door open & closed repeatedly. My kitchen was haunted by