I must have been under a rock, bc I just found out that it's hip and trendy in Japan to put nylons on your dog & take photos. This makes my next business trip all the more better!

Listen! I can give you ten good reasons why your brilliant plan will never work: First, Iowa is a landlocked state.

He watches them play. They are inside a giant glass bowl, but they don't know it. He is on the outside. Except the glass bowl speaks to him, about what they do. It says satirical t

I once had a dream of huge worms with sharp teeth. They ate human meat. I ran and ran. But everywhere I went the worms were there.

"And now, by the power of Grayskull, I pronounce you Masters of the Universe!" They kissed and a thunderbolt struck the ground where they stood. A chasm opened.

I knew something was wrong when I pulled into the garage and saw that the hallway door was cracked open. Getting out of the car, I stepped on broken glass. A high-pitched moan was

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff in Old Age. Think of a hemrhoid as a road bump on the constipation trail. Forgetting where you parked your golfcart is just an opportunity

"You know what torques me? That you can't unlike. I mean, say some damned folder gets on your s-list, and you want to unlike every contribution of theirs you've liked? What then?"

Her husband was out again fighting an electrical fire in this godawful storm. She'd clicked on a horror movie & choked when she realized the scene on the screen was her own bedroom

There was nothing special about her story. She had a father who she thought might come and visit her one day but he didn't. She wondered where her father was. Maybe he'd got lost.

Her maths was not great, but she knew that if 12 muffins were executed in the oven, 12 dead muffins should be available to depose of. But there were only 11. Raspberry-blood was

Feeling challenged to begin a story that doesn't contain the "p word" I transport you to a planet inhabited only a species of sentient vegetatively propagating flatworms: Flatland.

One day I woke up in a whole new world. In this new world cars could fly or drive themselves, flappy bird became the most popular game ever played, and everyone lived in a mansion.

One day Taylor was walking through the cold snow to reach his eight o'clock class, which started in five minutes. He was halfway there when the wind picked up and blew off his hat.

Dark, thick smoke filled the night air. If only things had been different...

"Funky!" screamed Bootsy Collins, sweat spraying from his

Mama Wolf was worried. She's been getting calls from the police station. Supposedly her sons got arrested; one for property damage, another for impersonating a grandmother. Mama wo

"What is with all these freaking medicine men in these stories?" I bellowed at my computer. "Why can't we have benign, non-racist topics like the merits of green and purple grapes?

Dinner tonight began with an expedition to the Black Sea where I murdered you a fresh Calia filet. I've accompanied it with blowfish sashimi and a raw taro slaw. Enjoy!

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