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  • 25
    Avatar
    They're the worst bees. I bet they don't pollinate or make honey or defend the queen they just fly around stinging shit. Nightmare bees, deadbeats, let's all just get together and
    Finished
    2018-05-30 13:02:37
    Took
    2 years, 32 days, 8 hours, 55 minutes, 35 seconds
  • 25
    Avatar
    At yet another funeral for Holmes, some grimy urchin, far from its squalid ward, addressed me. "My dear Watson, it seems I am become to some extent an hermaphrodite." Astonished, I
    Finished
    2018-07-12 14:59:30
    Took
    2 years, 72 days, 15 hours, 19 minutes, 30 seconds
  • 25
    Avatar
    I don't go to the casino to gamble, I go to drink. In peace. Nowhere else in this fuckhole of a city can you get peace at 3.30am. I drink. And I think. Some of my best thoughts
    Finished
    2017-10-12 16:04:50
    Took
    1 year, 164 days, 13 hours, 7 minutes, 45 seconds
  • 25
    Avatar
    The thing about my job is that, most of the time, you start with a reasonably ethical motives, but end with unreasonably unethical outcomes. That's the problem when you
    Finished
    2016-05-25 05:46:29
    Took
    3 days, 13 hours, 16 minutes, 50 seconds
  • 25
    Avatar
    "Come with me," he said, staring into my eyes as he offered his hand through the open door, "Please... I'm begging you to come with me." I wanted to come with, I really did but
    Finished
    2019-02-06 11:00:33
    Took
    2 years, 135 days, 13 hours, 51 minutes, 22 seconds
  • 25
    Avatar
    Throw the cheese! Classic youtube. Unfortunately it was also the best defense against the cowboys from outer space that a 11 year old could think of while
    Finished
    2016-09-30 16:33:20
    Took
    2 days, 19 hours, 52 minutes, 40 seconds
  • 25
    Avatar
    It was only when Chao Dao, the accidental AI of China, began to laugh as it batted away the attempts of the Shaolin monks and Overmind Resistance to get inside its mind that it rea
    Finished
    2019-05-17 18:58:48
    Took
    2 years, 203 days, 18 hours, 21 minutes, 28 seconds
  • 25
    Avatar
    OMG... I just woke up in a room full of naked people. That's the third time this week it's happened. Then there was the cheesy fry incident. Clearly the LSD was beginnning to ta
    Finished
    2020-04-03 11:23:59
    Took
    3 years, 134 days, 5 hours, 1 minute, 17 seconds
  • 25
    Avatar
    с трудом идем к 10 км.
    Finished
    2017-01-04 14:52:33
    Took
    1 day, 6 hours, 46 minutes, 10 seconds
  • 25
    Avatar
    i was very tired after school as i was returning home i saw a skeleton walking past me with a cigarette on his mouth,while smoking and smiling at me.i was surprised that...........
    Finished
    2017-01-23 12:20:58
    Took
    3 days, 22 hours, 12 minutes, 32 seconds
  • 25
    Avatar
    I was tending bar at Mel Cooley's when Alan Brady sat down and ordered a Buddy Sorrell on the rocks, but I screwed up and served him a Sally Rogers straight up, and he got pissed
    Finished
    2020-11-22 22:53:15
    Took
    3 years, 232 days, 17 hours, 16 minutes, 3 seconds
  • 25
    Avatar
    The creature's name was Despair but everybody in the neighborhood called her Felicia. They treated her like any other around the way girl. They didn't want her around unless they w
    Finished
    2018-09-23 09:31:36
    Took
    1 year, 155 days, 2 hours, 33 minutes, 36 seconds
  • 25
    Avatar
    SOMOS CAMPEONES DE LIGAAAAAAAAAA!!!!1
    Finished
    2017-05-24 22:58:39
    Took
    2 days, 5 hours, 12 minutes, 48 seconds
  • 25
    Avatar
    The lunchroom was full of pissants that hated me. They objected to my warming my lunch, usually sardines, in the microwave oven. The found fault with the fact that i urinated where
    Finished
    2020-08-31 22:01:26
    Took
    3 years, 15 days, 21 hours, 18 minutes, 42 seconds
  • 25
    Avatar
    Noone would have thought that anything special would happen on that particular Tuesday, let alone Boris. He caught the bus for work as usual, little realising that he would never
    Finished
    2017-09-16 21:12:20
    Took
    5 days, 14 hours, 57 minutes, 3 seconds
  • 25
    Avatar
    I think I write about food a bit too much.
    Finished
    2020-01-12 09:20:58
    Took
    2 years, 35 days, 1 hour, 37 minutes, 9 seconds
  • 25
    Avatar
    I shivered and drew in sharp breath as the cold hit my face, and I ran to the pickup. The cold seeped deep into my bones. It's day like these that I want to hunker down at home.
    Finished
    2018-01-22 11:39:52
    Took
    16 days, 18 hours, 21 minutes, 18 seconds
  • 25
    Avatar
    It started in mud, as many things do. A blubbering, steaming, stench escaped from there. And that's not all.
    Finished
    2018-04-05 13:07:29
    Took
    59 days, 16 hours, 5 minutes, 44 seconds
  • 25
    Avatar
    The Starchild knew eternity. He knew every aspect, every frustrating problem with eternity. So he didn't understand why this mortal wanted the eternity. Why does he want pain? Fool
    Finished
    2021-11-04 12:38:53
    Took
    2 years, 271 days, 5 hours, 41 minutes, 52 seconds
  • 25
    Avatar
    Ambling into the hotel room, Sally flung her clothes on the floor. She strode into the bathroom naked, flipped on the light switch, and shrieked. A maid rested in a pool of blood.
    Finished
    2021-11-05 23:30:10
    Took
    2 years, 1 day, 8 hours, 18 minutes, 20 seconds
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