The Return of Morag McDoone. She was a bitter, drunk, Scotswoman, was Morag McDoone, who got more drunk the more bitters she imbibed. Her father Mickey rued the day he had filled

I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I decided it was time to change my field of employment: two thousand kills was more than enough; I took all of my weapons and gave them to Goodwill.

"GO TO HELL!" She screached

"But Ma, all my friends have internet and streaming!" Nora cried. "Well, this is what we could afford, darling." A moment later, The Mandible in its club chair vibrated into view.

I'm sorry

Hey - listen up Parents of the World. Just cuz I'm a lil kid doesn't mean I don't have stuff to say. Next time you guys "stay together" for us kids, do us favor, huh, and DON'T.

One day, all of my favorite people arrived at my house. I was so surprised and happy all at the same time. I knew just what we should do.

I moved to the city to be close to nature; my friend moved to the country to witness cruelty, and none of this makes sense. Maybe we’re moving because we don’t like where we live.

I was so tired, yet I couldn't sleep. I opened my eyes slightly, and immediately froze. Across the room from me was a tall, shadowy figure, which began to slowly approach my bed.

"What am I doing here?" she thought as she walked through the door. They all kept staring at her like wolfs looking at a rabbit in a trap. She only wanted to sing for someone.

Meanwhile, on Innuendo Island, Bob Uppindown winked a brown eye at fellow camp counselor Shirley Knotty. They sat on the shores of Lake Likkaflappaskyn, playing a baudy game of

PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...is bread in French.

Vanessa Conquest refused to testify against her estranged brother Eric for his "crimes" against The Commonwealth. "What crime? He's a poet who rejected our wealth. But now this?!"

The woman cooed you baby to sleep before she heard the crash. Turning around she saw the broken glass on the floor.

What started out as the worst day ever ended as the best day ever. It all started out when

What is the meaning of life?

She woke up in the early morning and suddenly realized it was the day she had been dreading for what seemed like her entire life.

"Private,engage the Brute.Master Chief 117,get into the Banshee vehicle."radioed sergeant Johnson. "UNSC!Destroy the Master Chief at once."shouted the prophet of truth toconvenant

His tombstone read "Here lies James, who died during the great stickleback massacre of 1986. RIP".

The summer grass, it's all that's left of an old warriors dreams. The field of battle, Daisy's backporch swing. Still there, but Daisy's gone, and what I got? Just a fading dream