Hey - listen up Parents of the World. Just

Hey - listen up Parents of the World. Just cuz I'm a lil kid doesn't mean I don't have stuff to say. Next time you guys "stay together" for us kids, do us favor, huh, and DON'T.

Living with one happy parent beats living with two miserable ones any day, so stop using us kids as an excuse. I may be small, but I know the score. I will not bear your silly game

of musical chairs any longer. Seriously, how old do you think I am, Dad? I'm SEVEN! I'm way beyond musical chairs. Everyone knows that musical chairs is out and octopus tag is in.

But my Dad will never understand. Even when I asked him to player Laser Octopus Tag with me once, he was clueless on how to play. He kept forgetting to

defend himself with his deflector shield. The third time I tagged Dad with my laser it took his arm off. That's when Mom took the toys away and I was tried as an adult at age 5.

30 years passed; my parents have NEVER been to visit me once. My sister was just 1 when I was jailed, and as I walked through the gates I was wondering if I should find her.

Since I hadn’t listed anybody to pick me up the prison paid something called Uber to take me to the bus station with a voucher for a one way ticket. My sister picked me up instead.

I stood in the fresh air, slowly taking it in, enjoying my freedom. And then my sister arrived. She remarked, "

your freedom is over your my slave once more. Say bye to it and say hello Hell." Which at first he thought

was weird, given the fact all of the above happened in the elevator between the 3rd & 28th floors. The doors slid open, they rearranged themselves & returned to their cubicles.