Humphrey was a man of action, and as a man of action the first thing he did every morning was hunt and eat 3 feral wolves and drink a bucket of magma. After this his routine was to

As the water from the rain poured into the sewer, a man climbed down a manhole completely smashed from tequila and vodka. Due to his drunken state, he did not realize that he was

I was at the park when I saw a fly the size of an elephant, he looked at me and waved. He then seemed to fly off into the distance. I kept walking when I came across a big

First thing I would do if all of America's financial system broke down or defaulted I would...

My friends were all laughing away at their lockers and I asked what's so funny? They said my best friends girlfriend was a riot, I knew she was stealing my best friend so I decided

Life is beautiful if you're beautiful, but if you're an ugly dwarf like me life can be very tough. so I decided to get tough too. I signed up for a course in martial arts. On the

Help! I've been laminated!

You would think a waterslide filled with gumballs would be a nice addition to the senior citizens center. Trevor did as well, for about 4 mintues.

So, I get out of the shower and I notice this rash. I'm not positive how i got it but I'm pretty sure it was from

The International Arm Wrestling championships were starting in a couple minutes, and big Joe needed a pick me up, so he

It was very early in the morning. The sun had not yet reached its zenith and I was already out of bed and getting ready

Credible witnesses were hard to come by. Seeing a woman dressed like a male stuffed animal with all of the naturally occurring anatomy had become almost normal with the net, but a

Gloria breathed heavily as she sat and waited for me to notice. As dogs went, she had them all beat so I made the best effort to take her out before she started to leak. Damn dog

Fourteen years after she was abducted, trying to decide what was real and what had had been drilled in so far that it had supplanted reality was impossible. They'd started with

His cousin had chimpanzee-laughed right in his face. Well that wasn't going to stop him from inventing a perpetual motion machine. People had laughed at Einstein when he

The fat waitress at the Hot Wing joint had a nose ring and a low cut top. Pure class. She was going to be a makeup artist. That's when the leader of the Yakuza walked in and

The less known about her the better. Bradly had made it all the way to his wedding day without a slip, but now that sinking feeling having once fallen in love with a stripper.

Ah the cold brisk air. Had to leave the chaotic crowd of family talking over family. I left the front door, walked down the front walk, meandered to the main street. Nothing but

The water bubbled, like outta some kinda sci fi movie, and Martha just stared at it, certain that if she stared long enough, Devin would crawl back out. She could still taste

Snow settled on the pines behind his house. Trent never really paid attention to that shit anymore. It was nice to look at for the first year, but time had hoovered all the novelty