I woke up in a hospital...I think it was a hospital...in pain. People dressed in white were surrounding me, looking down at me. But I couldn't talk. I looked down at myself. I was

I stepped across the threshold of the decrepit house and into the open air. A cold hand grasped my wrist, and I turned around to see a pale face. "Don't leave me..."

"Later," said Angela Merkel huskily, "mit der whip und die kinky Bavarian boots." Obama, listening in on his secret red phone couldn't help giggling. "Who's she talking to?" he ask

Margins in art textbooks are intended for doodles, not notes. As "Italia: Dove i Nudi Sono Grandi" was handed down annually, its stunning pen collaboration outstripped "David" and

There were five of them in the room, but only two still lived. Karen stood, narrowed eyes never leaving Geoff. "Which one of us did this?" he asked, voice thick. She didn't know.

You're listening to 106.4 FM, "The Krill", the only radio station playing exclusively beluga whale mating calls put to a metronome. Next up, we have that hot single, "My Blowhole

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity,

Hello, my name is Arnold.

"Kill 'em! Kill 'em all!" The captain shouted over the booming of the cannons. "Show no mercy - you cowards didn't join the Galactic Fleet for nothin'!" He grips his laser gun and

The wedding was more "Yakety Sax" than "Here Comes the Bride" because

'20' out of 10 gay people

I have no strength to keep my eyelids open and no willpower to stop it happening all over again. The dragonflies are here again and they're no longer blue.

Merritt Crawford waited until his parents' dinner guests had repaired into the drawing room before he crawled under the long dining table in the Azure Room, searching for

Anne met her boyfriend at Facebook.He was a friend of a friend of a friend whom she used to play a few games with.Virtual games.The kind of games children were not supposed to play

What ever happened to Ms. Inatick, the clever cricket-loving Australian lass who is so fond of personifying inanimate objects? Mr. Spatula, what have done to our friend?

They decided to hold their wedding in the office elevator. "...because" Margo gushed, "that's where we met!" She sighed. The caterer scratched his head. "How many guests?" he asked

"One thing I worry about," he confided at an FSA meeting, "is the mix-and-match, anything-goes stuff. You know, there was some sick Dadaism before the horrors a hundred years ago."

Lieutenant colonel John Dykeson sat alone as he always did from 15 00 - 16 30. The lamp's yellow light cast a jaundiced pallor over his drawn skin. A fan moved but the air was too

"Oh, really? Really? Oh, oh, that's just, that's just great. Oh, yeah, fantastic. You're a real charmer. You should take that act on the road."

Running all across the floor, on the walls and even on to me and over my feet. The cockroaches were everywhere. They seemed to be more concentrated around a carpet. I poked on it