The wedding was more "Yakety Sax" than "Here

The wedding was more "Yakety Sax" than "Here Comes the Bride" because

the Bride was more "Oakridge Boys" than "Electric Pai Gow." Her husband, Mitch Tirtle-Dikeman couldn't turn his market analysis off. Through out the entire wedding he assessed

the markets, sold 10k penny shares to the organist & they had their first marital row walking back up the aisle as Mitch wouldn't get off his mobile. Mitch & Ditsy Tirtle-Dikeman

were just-married nouveau riche social media enthusiasts. So they decided to honeymoon in San Jose where they could stalk Zuckerberg in between bouts of consummation. Mitch & Ditsy

Disguised themselves as Facebook users who idolised Shark Lady in order to gain access to Zuckerberg 's bank accounts and hijack them. In the Cayman Islands, Sir Wilbert Horsehead

returned the secure phone to it's cradle. Showing consternation was not Sir Wilbert Horsehead's way. So it came as a surprise to see it on him. He fumbled at That Very Safe Safe.

But let's face it, Sir Wilbert Horsehead fumbled at pretty much everything. Why he thought he could be a jewel thief was pure conceit on his part. He looked bad in a turtleneck,

Even worse outside of one. Full face masks were another matter. Those he could rock like no one’s business. That’s how he got the name “Horsehead” though you shouldn’t remind him

or he'll do this whole tired routine. The dancing, the jokes, and of course that bloody stupid mask, which was rather insensitive given who the Communist army was fighting.

But alas, the end of the world was nigh. Insensitivity was irrelevant. It was time to charge toward my foe, rifle in hand, only to be blown to bits by his hubris.