One upon a time in a land far, far away...

I always wondered how the course of human history would have diverged had "David" not been nude. I hired a local sculptor and some Renaissance fair actors to live out my fantasy.

I was a tightrope walker and today, I was walking across the world's deepest hole. Showing off, I was eating Cheetos while doing it. Unfortunately, I fell off. At the bottom, a man

Calling THIS smog would be an understatement. You could cut this thing with a knife and put it on bread. "How do you navigate through this without a horn?"

It was the night before my birthday. And from my window, the rainy world outside seemed like the saddest place.

Last friday night I

Even without the smell of bleach stinging her nostrils, Mary new she was back at her old high school. It was the hallway echoed; she could almost hear the taunts of the other kids

This was it. I walked right into my hot boss's office, closed the door, and said "I need a rise and I need it now". She looked up, stole a quick glance at my crotch, and

Sausages. He could never shut up about sausages. They were his life ever since

Jeff folded his large, batlike wings behind him as he lit on the ground. He was in the middle of a deserted suburb street, hoping to hell he could find a good liquor cabinet to

I first read Atlas Shrugged when I was a depressed teen, oppressed by the mere existence of my parental units. Who could have predicted that I'd grow up to lead

He peeped into the Jim Beam bottle. It took him two years, but it was finally done, the entire Manhattan skyline out of balsa wood and toothpicks. Then he sneezed,

First I got off the train and headed straight for the shop. I knew he'd be there. I wanted to let him know what was up, you know? Make sure it never happened again.

Now when i try to remember how i thought my first day in highschool would be i imagined there where things being thrown everywhere people who looked like they would be parents and

Sky was a shy girl with an iron will and a passion for Neil Sedaka. She had no friends, preferring the company of a lone pelican she met on the shore each morning. Only he

Danny flipped on the siren and lights and pulled onto the road. He recognized Jack's car and knew that Jack had to be stopped at all costs. Two days ago

Starbucks was crowded with folks sucking down overpriced decaf lowfat latte somethings as they met for the first time. He recognized her instantly. She was dressed as a cow and

There was a little boy, standing besides the street in his red trousers. He was collecting something from the floor - when suddenly ...

... Now hold it under the ultraviolet light." My roomate was trying to show me the hidden message on the cover of Abby Road. "See how Ringo is glowing? Definitely the Messiah."

Six dragon heads, one for each point of the star, contained him. The ruby eyes were binding magic and suspended him floating. It was the only apparent mysticism that kept Bill