I first read Atlas Shrugged when I was a

I first read Atlas Shrugged when I was a depressed teen, oppressed by the mere existence of my parental units. Who could have predicted that I'd grow up to lead

The Nazi's second attempt at a succesful holocaust when I was only 22! We charged Poland, and battle ensued. But for some reason,

everyone thought the we were dicks! The victors truly get to write the history. Since when is the attempted total destruction of a people a bad thing? I think God tried it once!

These people would never understand that the Renaissance would never have happened without the Plague. I rolled my eyes as they wheeled me into the sanitarium for

daily display of indignant know-it-allism. They wheel me in a handtruck and force eeveryone to sit in elementary school chairs. Then they removed my mask and

I Hannibal the lecturer, began my speech on social responsibility. The visual effects, tied to the hand-truck and the Hannibal mask hanging from my neck earned big bucks. Crass but

effective. As the money rolled in, I received an offer to adapt my social responsibility lectures into a book, and I accepted. However, I had to replace the visual effects with

textures like "Pat the Bunny." People could feel the wooliness of confused thinking, the slickness of a clean soul and the pricklyness of a harsh diatribe. Colleges used it for

revitalizing the sagging humanities programs.When the graduates couldn't get jobs they protested. The discontent touchy-felly generation led to the Texture wars of the late 22nd

century. By then we didn't know if we were floating in vats or mists in the ether. Naturally I preferred burlap and hard chairs, but did feel some pity for the satin-bwankie peeps.