In a past life I must have been a really bad boy because in this life I'm a really good boy but only really bad things happen to me. Either that or I'm just

Ice creaming comes across the sky

once upon a time

He drank water out of a wine glass and froze his dark chocolate. You may not think that's weird, and if so, you're weird. The really weird thing

For most folks the fine line between creative writing and nonsensical jibberjabber is crossed right around

The I.T. Tech was thoroughly confused. The cache of 'penis', 'cheap vodka', and 'internet dating' sites was troubling. But then there were bookmarks for '.gif' and 'alphabet'. What

I don't know about God, but the Devil is a woman for sure. How else can you explain

Kenny Rogers and Hammerstein. I don't like show tunes but they do the "gambler" to "some enchanted evening" really out there.

Ok, Ok—you’re probably saying, “What happened to Barbara?

"Whip it! Whip my Ted Nugent!" She'd called it her "Ted Nugent" ever since the carnival.

I want to slowly damage each part of my pathetically lifeless body, savouring the sweet taste of each beautiful fragment of annihilation, in every tiny cell of my useless body.

Turn away, If you could get me a drink of water 'cause my lips are chapped and faded. Call my aunt Marie, help her gather all my things and bury me in all my favorite colors, my

One fine day in the middle of the night two dead men got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other.

Harold was quite the entrepreneur. His 100% natural & organic Harold Prodder's Every Flavor Beanies were the hit of the neighborhood. Sold in packs of 2 for $3. Ingredients

It wasn't that Donga minded being naked in front of Parliament, really. It was more like there hadn't been enough time to think up a witty explanation as to why. No turning back

In the FoldingStory tabletop game, I chose my traits as Manatee (4) & Detective (3). When the herd of Spam Baby (2) advanced, I rolled my Parkourer (3) skill to wall-jump over them

In the middle of a gun fight, in the center of a restaurant, they say, "Come with your arms raised high!" Well, they're never gonna get me, like a bullet through a flock of doves.

Deep within a vast mining region, an engineer James McPherson and a detective Nicole Iasant were called to investigate a total blackout communication in a mining city.

Fish were falling from the sky - specifically haddock, though it was reported that one house down the lane had been covered in squid instead. It was July in Scrumpy, Georgia, so

My Last Holiday