She stood at the top of the stairs. A robot got her fat brother a drink. Her husband stood there in his stupid italian jacket and cabbie hat. He was too old for all this crap and

Until a year ago he owned his father’s pawn shop but left it to deal in anything-you-want from a shop with no address. I saw him walk behind the police car and light

You cannot control me. I can still move my lips. So long as I can lip sync you can't own my soul. I'll just lay here and sing "This Magic Moment," and let the tears run

DeLorean. Phone booth. Hot tub... those have all been done before. I was determined to create a time machine to trump all others.

The kitchen smelled like India, or at least what I hoped India smells like. "Is that butter chicken?" he asked with a twinge of hunger in his voice.

"BWWRRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFF!" Three and a half hours of holiday cheer ended in 2 seconds and all over my mom's linoleum kitchen floor. It was pitch black and way past midnight.

A John Kerry Vietnam vet, his sentiments on war can be summarized by the following: “Killing for Peace is like Fucking for Virginity.” That probably seems crass, but it’s on his

They squared up to each other. Everyone was shouting. They were breathing deeply, glaring harshly into one anothers eyes. Walkie talkies were cracklng with distress.

Just because there's snow on the roof; doesn't mean there's not a

As a manager, one of my most essential tasks is to identify strengths and weakness, and delegate tasks to each of you. After much consideration, I now choose YOU for the dying.

One , cold, creepy night a girl was walking around her town after a row with her parents, salty tears run down her face while she walks around alone

"Who the hell wears a fedora in church?" she said. "Does he think we're going to encounter a sword wielding Arabian Nazi sympathizer in Bethesda?" I jumped up and donned my turban

Tis a bad start to your day when even your own demons refuse to speak to you. Seriously, what an attitude these lost souls have! Spawn of hell my ass! They're like spoiled emo

The football team had lost another one. 0 and 11. Everyone hung their helmeted heads and got on the bus. Lumpy the couch just shook his head. The fat kid in the back yelled

I was sitting on my front porch sipping a glass of lemonade when a large group of muscular, hairy, men came over the horizon. Without thinking I grabbed my gun. The horde was back.

Polatitions are rubbish because....

I wouldn’t kill a pregnant woman or a kid and he was asking me to do both, never mind his double negative. It was a definite weak spot on my “bad motherfucker” resume.

I snuck to the driver’s side of her giant Dodge and popped the hood. I slid out from behind the wheel and pushed the hood release completely and pushed it up.

The road was creepy, just a path through the woods. Trees blocked the sun out, even at noon it was dark. Winding around until you come to the wooden bridge, but under the bridge

there was a cat. his name was jose. he was japanese. and yes i'm saying was...because he lost all his nine lives like....a couple minutes ago. i dont like cats...