Some people call me a space cowboy, some call me a dad or a bastard. Some people call me boss, some yell and say 'Hey ref!' I'm a worker, I'm a shirker, I'm a French fry berserker,

I'm here to make you forget that you don't believe in angels anymore.

"You don't understand. No one does. God. My leg is made of a stack of Krispey Kremes. Do you know how hard it is to put my damn shoes on?!?! Of course you don't!" Shouter Ted

Thoughts

Margins in art textbooks are intended for doodles, not notes. As "Italia: Dove i Nudi Sono Grandi" was handed down annually, its stunning pen collaboration outstripped "David" and

I wanna be a brilliant geezer. It's what I aspire to. Right now I'm working on having enough life changing experiences. The tricky part really is surviving into old age to tell abo

How are lucky are we that the Second Coming is starting during a census year? The whore of Babylon has her G10 headed beast to ride upon. The McRib is here for a limited time only.

Floating toilets to bring humans safely to outer space were invented in the year 2014.

تجمّعت الحيوانات في الغابة مقابل شجرة البلّوط العتيقة بناءاً على استدعاء البومة لهم جميعاً، اصطفّوا بهدوء و انتظام متنظرين حضورها، و التي كانت أقدر حيوانات الغاب و أكثرهم حكمة،

Donatello stood with Cristiano in the garden. The one with the lavish fountain and the abundance of flowers and stone walkways. "Join us, Cristiano," Donatello said. Mystified,

The Return of Morag McDoone. She was a bitter, drunk, Scotswoman, was Morag McDoone, who got more drunk the more bitters she imbibed. Her father Mickey rued the day he had filled

She was afraid to ask for a new set of utensils and just couldn't stand it anymore, so she got up and hid in the bathroom.

The thing about Abe Froman was that it was all about sausages. Sausage this and sausage that. One time I said, "knock, knock?" And he said, "Sausage, now shut your mouth."

Spic and Span were tired of their clean image and decided to make a rumpus

Indoors, indoors, iiiiiinnndoooooorrsss! Take it away penny!

The depressed termite had had enough of wood. Wood, wood wood. That's all anyone ate around here. What about osso buco? What about

Josh from work was forced by necessity to buy a pint at The Famous Cock in Highbury last Tuesday. He told me this in an email even though he was sitting at the desk abutting mine

Mind reading is very real & anyone can do it. You just need total concentration & practice. Try it at your next family function. You'll need to stare directly at them for at least

The wise old man stroked his beard and stared coldly at me as if he was burning the answer in my soul.

I feel my heart actually crumpling up, eating itself. She was taking too long with the antedote. If Jes doesn't hurry, I'll be dead within minutes.My last words to Justin were "You