After contracting alien hand syndrome I thought it'd be great for giving myself "the stranger". But then one day something happened that was not a no worries situation.

An astronaut, a witch doctor and Suzanne Somers walked into a bar. "Ow" said Suzanne, as she had walked into a particularly pointy part of the bar. The astronaut held open the

I don't question the ethical ramifications of things because I'm too distracted with my latest venture in combining Scribblenauts & FoldingStory. Each fold comes to life, resulting

The drain said, "Your soul dowwwwwwwwwn." Tim heard it. Did anyone else? Sharon was still asleep. He looked down into the drain. There was a bulging eye in the drain, looking

Oh I'm a spelunker crack & I'm ok.I climb in caves where night is day." "He's a spelunker crack & he's ok.He climbs in caves where night is day."I rappel down walls, pick stalagtit

PIMP MY BUS!

Frustrated that I cannot remember a simple word, I type 'that party thing stuffed with candy' into the search engine and facepalm when I see the results. A pinata! Of course! How c

I counted the homemade meatballs in my homemade chilli sauce and froze. I was dealing with a prime number.

"No, I'm serious, mom. I'm a meth addict." There was a long pause. "And so is

"A 24 hr bus ride to Tijuana Ricardo! What in Cojones are we gonna do all this time?" But Ricardo was prepared & pulled out one bottle of coke, one of tequilla and two plastic cups

"pv zk bschk pv zk pv bschk zk pv zk bschk pv zk pv bschk zk bschk pv bschk bschk pv " blathered the beat boxer. The dubstepper was not happy. "WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WOWOWOWOW" said

Jasmine smelled just like her name. I absorbed her scent and took a step into the cascading light of the furnace. "Jasmine, is it really you?" I've been waiting

"I'm a feather duster and I'm okay." "That's fantastic. Could you dust my house for me?" "NOT TODAY." The PETA activists had arrived, plucking the feathers and returning them to

It was good to be back. Ninja Pope surveyed Milan from his penthouse, chewing on his lit Cuban, a nasty habit picked up in Nicaragua, where he'd been hiding. To get back into shape

She smiled and told him not to worry because they were trained professionals and he was in good hands . 'Now' , she asked Will , ' has your plane arrived yet ?'

It eludes definition just as it eludes itself;

Aren't you going to ask me about the Ghurtvin invasion?

Some people call me a space cowboy, some call me a dad or a bastard. Some people call me boss, some yell and say 'Hey ref!' I'm a worker, I'm a shirker, I'm a French fry berserker,

As my dear brother lay sweating and pallid on the threshold, our mysterious lodger, whom I thought might murder us all, offered a healing lozenge. The wastemistress gasped and ran

10 fingers, 10 toes, 1 bebe, and no nose..... what?