"Go on then - just f--k off!" shouted England. "Think you'll find someone better? Think the EU will put up with your continual sulking!" Scotland was livid. "Yes, the EU LOVES me

Amundsen raised his arm for a halt, stepped off the sledge & sat down. He looked at each in turn as the party gathered around. "Let's give up." Hassel said, "but we're only 30 km

Shortly after Herman had pushed the button a hidious sound came out of the container. If this was not the end to the Garble people problem he had hand them over to the

List of the stupidest Superheros ever invented: 1) Captain Carbuncle, able to cause unsightly boils to appear on his oponents face, secret ability: cures warts 2) Matter Eater Lad,

I ate my 7th twinkle. "There's an apple on the counter if you want it." my roommate said. Nuuoooo. I then began to turn on the tv and I hear my favorite song ♫

We arranged to meet at The Dolphin at Whitby. To blend in with the locals, I wore black lipstick & patent leather thigh boots. Wilbur wore a black cape lined with red silk & talcum

Previously on "Pagans in Space":

I stared at the rusted old sign. YOU ARE ONLY PERMITTED TO LEAVE THE COMPOUND WHEN ACCOMPANIED BY A GUARDIAN.

My haberdashery is infect with moths. They scream

"Serks, c'mere! You've gotta check out this view!" Meenah's face lit up with childlike wonder as she entered the hotel room. Aranea trailed a few steps behind, carrying their bags.

The only 2 famous Austrians I can think of are Arnold Schwarzenegger and Hitler. Marie Antoinette - was she Austrian?

Lord Samuel of Goldwood let out a loud belch. Sir Matt Fornicot blushed. King Smith XI rose and boomed "HOW DARETH THEE BURP IN MY ROYAL PRESENCE?!".

Many years ago, a man had a dream. This dream was ruined by a woman he met. Her existence in his life would've belonged in a love story, if it weren't for what she did to him...

CATMAN is a super hero who surrounds himself with a large army of cats. He usually speaks gibberish and/or throws his cats at passersby. In truth CATMAN is a slave to the cats but

In a dreary November, I set quill to foolscap. A novel in a month? How was that even possible? And so I began with my first sentence...

Once upon a time there was a beautiful butterfly.

"I just realized I won 30 million dollars at the lottery, so please forget my previous rant against inflation. What a beautiful country we live in! I will get 3 butlers, 5 cars,

A wave of sadness overcame me. I knew it. It was over. What once was, had died, withered away into nothing. I didn't even have the power to conjure up tears, all I could do was

It was the summer of July, 1986. That's where it all began.

No-one can understand my situation. No-one can help. No-one can break through the walls of darkness. Right, now that's out of the way, down to business. There has been a breach in