I cannot believe

When the Organization for the Prohibition of Chemical Weapons overstepped its bounds and outlawed the use of salt in domestic settings, the Salt Lords rebelled to overthrow them.

"I believe that we will win" is chanted throughout the stands as the 4th quarter of the game creeps up. The defending team punts....

I had a can of beer with my favorite football team's name on it. Life can't get better than this.

"My name is not Little Johnny and you are not going to give me an obedience shot," eight-year-old Brad informed the school nurse. He had already hacked his chip and was prepared to

Nanu nanu. Mork calling Orson. Come in Orson.

Sometimes I hear my wife talking on the phone and I'm like, "What in the hell is she blathering about?" Ned sipped his Stolis and growled, "Wives? Wives? Well, what in the hell

It was 10:00 am and she had to leave at 8:00 am to go to school but she didn't care. She didn't care if she wasn't going and she didn't care if she would get in trouble

It was 10:00 am and she had to leave at 8:00 am to go to school but she didn't care. She didn't care if she wasn't going and she didn't care if she would get in trouble

I'm allergic to walnuts, wheat gluten, cats, poinsettias, postage stamp adhesive, every ingredient in beer except water, Depend® undergarments, dust mite turds, wookie fur,

Is there life beyond the grave? It's a deep question. However no own knew it as well as Laura Smith, who'd been studying this thing for years.

Jenna wondered how anyone could be so cruel, how anyone could steal HER barbie doll with purple hair. However Jenna wasn't bright and couldn't find an answer. So

"I'm sorry, sir, but all of you need to die except one." Jack was shocked. "Look, it's great that cheap nanoreps let you visit all your global friends, but Earth is overheating and

Sister Mary Tarantula woke from her unexpected nap. The classroom was deserted and the ruler was missing, but she did not need it. Looking eastward, her eyes narrowed. "Putin." She

Somehow, and maybe several times if ever, at an indefinite moment of the day when the seasons themselves were unclear, I might have been brushed by the vaguest of presentiments

It's the moments in between that interest her the most- the curled half moon smiles in the rain, sitting outside in the sun,

Allie carried in the last of her stuff. Phew! First year of college DONE! Made it on the Dean's List too. But should tell her parents what she really learned at college this year?

"I've done it. I've finally done it," I whisper, wiping several beads of sweat from my brow.

The kombucha queen drank her last kombucha on June 20th. The cases she had bought at Whole Foods were so famous she annoyed the cashiers. "Here she comes!', cashier #1 said.

So I asked her. "How can I help you make your dreams come true?" She held up the Happy costume.