So it turns out the reason 2016 was such a screwed up year was because of all the time travelers that are coming back to stop Trump. People used to go stop Hitler but now they try

Golden Locks tried so many beds by now she could not remember how she got to the latest one...There was a bear in bed with her and her mouth tasted like...well,not porridge.

Give me garlic bread. I like garlic bread.

Turns out my overbearing boss had IT install a keystroke recorder on my keyboard a while back. Something must have really triggered an alarm because at 4:20 this morning, a SWAT

There I was, standing at the wrong side of a Store Window while the mannequins were walking towards me. It was then when I realized. I fucked up. "Stay away from me, white trash!"

One night, when I was sitting outside on my porch chugging down another Iron City, the sky curtains drew back. A hand came down from the sky & pointed to the east. So I got up &

It was Paris in the the Spring, or so we pretended on the FSS Mandible in that deep space reminiscent of pesticide. Buddy kept going on about one one colon one one, until he thrash

Gigantic purple orbs crossed my vision, glistening opalescent fizzywigs buzzing morosely until the scent of refried beans recentered my attention on the very orange plate of tacos.

I woke up and realized that this wasnt my own bed. What am i doing. I tried to talk but all i could say was: DEEZ NUTZ. at that moment i realised i was infected with Deeznuteritis

Once upon a time a young girl in Felanitx got lost on her way home from school.

Can you do me a favor and just hold on to these two sticks? Thanks. If you need me, I'll be behind the ballistic glass. Just wait for my signal.

"Never mind me", Denis snorted, as Meryl banged the vacuum cleaner against his legs. If she heard him she didn't show it, but just continued on round the sofa and in front of the

"Lord bless me sir!" said the three-eyed alien as it hover-walked up to Uncle Jesse. Uncle Jesse's eyes narrowed. "Cletus. Cletus Raybern, is that you?" The Alien extended his

We've got miles to go before we sleep. "Miles to go before we sleep?" she asked frostily. "I thought I saw two roads up there, though. See the yellow woods?" I know these woods

Wanna hear the most annoying thing in the world?

Puppy Sitting!

max was drunk,he shouted "reginea ! reginea!" .In the darkness he was searched for his wife he.He tripped over ...

He'd always lived for the little things in life: letting his dog shit in someone else's yard, putting perishable items where they'd surely perish when shopping. But he never though

Tell me about your home, Maximus. Tell me about your dream.

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