Pain was imbedded into me, like the bullet into my lung. Blood seeped out and made the floor wet and slimy. My clothes were being stained a darker color. Too bad I wore white. Who

This is my 100th fold. Let us celebrate this momentous occasion!

Sergeant Lipschitz sat on a stoop, singing Delibes' Flower Duet - well, at least half of it- to himself. Ever since he had caught a showing of "The Hunger" late one night, he had

The superintendent of schools for the county was understanding, but had some general considerations. "I'm sorry -- The Martian Temple of Xrekhlior in Exile cannot rent our space."

Are you the kind of man who can't tell from an arse from an elbow? Do you often mistake a victory sign for

"Coffee, tea, or me?" she asked sweetly, bending down to adjust my seatbelt. I looked up at her. "Earl Gray, please." I replied, returning to my book.

The Sun was hungry that day, consuming 22,000 metric tons of hydrogen and eventually belching up a sizable solar flare of gamma-irradiated methane that descended on Poughkeepsie.

He logged in & sold the options as they'd planned, then eliminated the evidence of his tampering. Five minutes later they met on the balcony & smoked in silent collusion. Two days

People say to me: "Oi, you, yes you, just shut up & listen. Look sit down, I said LISTEN! OK, how do you get your ideas for your folds?" I say: "I listen to the voices in my head

The team of painters that I hired played a punch buggy variant called "punch bucket", which led to colorful misbrushings all over my living room. My dog was covered in streaks of

This is Commander Hadfield to ground control. I've left forever more. And I'm floating in a most peculiar way. And the music stars look very different today.

She shouldn't have sent the letter. She didn't mean for anyone to read it, but that, too, is a lie. She knew that when she put the words "need" and "fear" on the page,...

Big Macintosh wanted his kid sister's attention. "Now, Apple Bloom, this here's B. F. Skinner. He's gonna put you foals in a box!" B. F. Skinner was busy tinkering with the box.

Limo Jousting was "in". Wealthy knights opened the sunroofs and ordered their chauffeurs to charge. "Eat my lance," said 5-time champion Guinevere du Lac. She was hypercompetitive

"Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum!" yelled Santa Pirate. "Death from on high!" He launched a tactical nuclear missile from a robotic reindeer drone. The ExFed truck deployed anti-air

When camping in the great outdoors it is advisable to ensure you pack enough gear to spot UFOs. If you live outside of America these rules do not apply as UFOs only abduct

"Yolk,what's up?" greeted Bread." "I'm fried. And you?" " I feel all crumby." "That's because you're toast." " You're white. Eggcellent deduction my friend. Now, let's find a way

I bit into the king cake and cracked my front tooth on the plastic baby. It didn't matter, cause now I was gonna have good luck the rest of my life. Wiping the purple sugar from my

The electric sheep hummed loudly in the corner. This disturbed the dog, evident by his raised lip and yet he did not move, save for an impulsive quiver. There was a loud

A penguin, a nun, a rabbi, santa claus, a giraffe, a mime, and a drunken lawyer all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?" The penguin replies