First day of school and i've already found a class i dislike.I have no friends and my assigned seat sucks really bad.My only form of entertainment is the computer in front of me

After angrily looking around for my charger i realize that

Socked in again, she thought as she looked over the lagoon.. "The weather man is on crack," and knows nothing about Alaska

Hurricand Irene is comming to the eastern coast to create havoc, first thing I'd save would be...

Oscar the Grouch was pissed. All this Greening of America crap meant way less trash for him. He was "Green" before the hipsters co-opted it. He needed to get even so he

If I was going to be the best horse-whisperer in the world, I needed to get rid of the competition. First target: Robert Redford.

I just knew it! The one time I did not need any witnesses to my embarassing acts, she

I'm so lazy at work that I don't even bother to get up to pee. Instead, I

Their business meetings had become quite mundane. The coders were getting antsy while the suits were

The letter from the doctor came as quite a surprise and he had to sit before continuing. His legs could not longer

"Was that a bear?" she whispered, pulling the covers over her head. The trip to Yosemite ("yoss-might" as she called it)

Looking back, it occurred to me that man-slapping was not considered the proper response to Steve's comment. Alas,

"Leader board!" Screamed EK™.

She awoke slowly aware that the room was so black, the silence so complete it had weight and seemed to be suffocating

Her hair was red like fire, and glistened in the sun. She was the last of them - the Gingers. Soon to expire, soon

"How many skulls are there?" she asked. "Why? You lining them up for a dance?" I said, smirking. "There are four hundred tibiae in that box. Any more than two-fifty and

Looking toward the west she stared at a small hourglass-shaped 4-acre black-water lake surrounded by waterlogged and stunted trees. Its water was gently lapping against the

Linda married and divorced her first awkward turtle. The turtle struggled with drug and alcohol abuse, and went through recovery in the mid 1990s. After marrying his second

I laughed. I didn’t want to. I don’t laugh at people because it encourages them to interact. But I couldn’t help it. At first it came out as an aborted “ha-ha-h-“ I tried to

I knew this inevitable day would come. Poppy, the ventriquist, hopped onto the stage