Jan1st,2012.Only now Andy heard about the
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Jan1st,2012.Only now Andy heard about the imminent apocalypse.His sister mentioned it at dinner and planted a fear seed.Driving back he couldn't remember due day.It was driving him
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nuts like a popcorn husk wedged in his teeth. When was the apocalypse supposed to happen? He blew the red light. Cops pulled up behind him. "If we're all going to die, then I ain't
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gonna waste time on red lights!" The Cop asked him to step out of the car for a breathalyzer test. He spit out the nuts and blew just as a giant winged hippo appeared above them.
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It was at that point he knew he'd hit rock bottom. The angelic hippo was a sign from God. After a night in the drunk tank, he proselytized the word of the beatific river horse.
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He became an avid missionary and proclaimed the Hippo's hope of salvation to many nations. He even aquired a cult following for his new Hippoterian denomination. He converted
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a few Christians, a smattering of Buddhists, not a small number of Hindus, and a plethora of Jews. Made a tidy profit to boot. The Hippoterians were blossoming! But the Methodists
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and the Pagans were holding hands as they realised the foolishness of it all. The Methodists were ready to embrace the Goddess Gaia, and were readily gathering at Stonehenge, when
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Uranus appeared, his hair combed and his shirt buttoned. "I'm standing in for Gaia," said the whipped god. "So what'll it be, bountiful harvest? Death of all enemies? New Mustang?"
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The citizens of the world, while grateful to Uranus, couldn't help but feel that the absence of Gaia, mother to us all, was telling in a fairly metaphorical and Freudian way.
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The legacy of Uranus' triumph echoed throughout their civilization for millenia. These people, once lost, had now found a path to follow, one that they could truly believe in.
5
- Started
- 2011-07-17 15:51:24
- Finished
- 2012-07-31 18:57:59
8 Comments
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49erFaithful Jul 31 2012 @ 19:19
Wow, 3 posts about Uranus and not one blunt double entendre. Shocker!
SlimWhitman Aug 01 2012 @ 04:18
Sometimes a cigar is only a cigar. -Sigmund Freud
Patroclus81 Aug 01 2012 @ 08:45
Yeah, let's grow up here people. Act mature. Sometimes Uranus is just Uranus..... *snicker*
mensaque Aug 03 2012 @ 11:01
Uranus or not,this one turned out pretty good.Loved it!
buddyboy4711 Aug 03 2012 @ 11:48
As I wrote my fold, I made a conscious decision to avoid anus jokes and butt cracks.
49erFaithful Aug 03 2012 @ 11:54
The citizens of the world are grateful (to Uranus). *chuckle*
49erFaithful Aug 03 2012 @ 11:56
There's pretty much no way to reference that planet or mythological God without it being comical, which is why it's usually even better not to try to make it blunt...
SlimWhitman Aug 03 2012 @ 14:19
It seems we more than made up for our restraint during this story in the comments. I was sure this was due to our restraint up to now, butt a brief search found more than a pair of cheeky folds : http://foldingstory.com/cu0ew/or01ft/ http://foldingstory.com/mnna2/b6d5v0/ http://foldingstory.com/kuph7/dvo5ph/ http://foldingstory.com/hwh6z/1jof6c/ http://foldingstory.com/xu19b/47m0ge/ http://foldingstory.com/9syym/ehr4c3/ http://foldingstory.com/q425m/0fn90h/ http://foldingstory.com/hwh6z/iobule/ http://foldingstory.com/2d553/txpi2w/ http://foldingstory.com/qdb1m/ja54k6/ http://foldingstory.com/iqoq8/3mjr9r/