I had never tried a meatball. The sisters

I had never tried a meatball. The sisters at the mission had always been vegetarian in deference to the locals, whose animal offerings I had always viewed with both humor and

silent scorn. Honestly, meatballs? How about some real meat products like a Pepperoni Stick, or some beef jerk. Maybe the sisters at the mission should try some head cheese

or mutton tripe filled with badger kidney. But he kept all these thoughts to himself. After all the Headsister was a particularly severe specimen of vegan missionary. In Borneo she

lived for several weeks on tree pollen and flower nectar. Her colon sparkled like Mr. Clean's bald dome. But he was a carnivore. He needed to smuggle some carcass into this nunnery

or else he would lose his strength during the long winter months in the mountains. So he trekked out into the cold, and before long found goat-sign. He followed the hoof-prints

to the old handing tree. With my frost frozen eyelashes, I saw Old Scratch twirling his moustache with the end of pitchfork. "Chilly, eh? Well it's warm where I come from."

he stopped and grabbed a cream soda, explaining the technical details of my new-found charm and how there were no loopholes but I didn't want any. So the first policeman I charmed

arrested me after it wore off. And here I am, at the prison cafeteria, wishing I was a real Jedi and wishing I had a Cream Soda too. I never thought it would turn out this way.

I never thought Jabba was my father,Inever knew Leia was my brothers girlfriend, i always thought the Ewoks were friendly (what a mistake that was) Boy, Lucus was wrong. Way wrong