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I was stuck in the crawlspace beneath the

  • I was stuck in the crawlspace beneath the Hitchen's house again. One of my belt loops got snagged on something and I can not get it loose. I can't be caught down here again. I call

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  • for my brother who is upstairs. I need him to come get me soon before Mr. Hitchen's finds me down here again. Last time this happened he held me hostage for three days and made me

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  • fondle myself while whistling the “Andy Griffith Show” theme song. My brother isn’t coming; Mr. Hitchens is nearby. I call for Bowser; he comes from a smart breed, but he’s a pup.

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  • I tried to the puppy mill though, because he is none too bright. Mr. Hitchens, who runs the puppy mill, says that I can't return Bowser, since my brother fed him the wrong food.

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  • I then argued that it was an accident that he had been fed the wrong food. "They told him that this was the food he needed." He still refused to accept that.

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  • He was to stubborn to accept the accident. I was trying to think of a different way to express that what had been done was not intentional.

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  • I the explained that there was no reason why the outcome had to happen with the events that occurred. It could have happened to anyone, at any time. It was simply coincidental.

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  • I could surely not be held responsible in the court of law, right? Many people get off due to insanity or ignorance. Everybody will understand that I didn't actively try to...

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  • make love to a naked molerat and get charged with bestiality, it consented! Thankfully no one caught me and if they did they wouldn't care. I skip along my merry way looking for ..

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  • looking for a randy mole rat. I succeed and oddly enough his name was Randy. However, Randy worked vice and I got caught in a mole rat sex sting operation. Not cool, Randy.

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