Betty had eyes that said come here, lips

Betty had eyes that said come here, lips that said kiss me, arms and torso that said hold me all night long, but the rest of her body said, “Fillet me, cover me in cornmeal."

My relationship with a mermaid was complicated. The lover in me wanted to caress her, make her feel loved. But the fisherman in me kept thinking of tartar sauce and how succulent

but one night when I was caressing the fishy scales on her belly, I let the catfish out of the bag when I said "Who's my spicy little Crawbaby? You look good enough to dip.. I mean

deplete of sexual energy!" Her bulbous eyes stared at me, and damn, that's the moment she realised. I stroked her smooth scales, tried to calm her, but she knew the true nature of

my interest in her. It was purely scientific, devoid of any romantic undertones. I could see that it made her mad, and I worried she'd hit me with her scaly

tomahawk whip. When she got mad, look out brother.

But the brother didn't look out and took it right in the 'nads. Since it was a tomahawk that got him, this now becomes the tale of Twisted Sister. That's right, the band name is

not as original as some people think, but that's not the point. The brother was never the same after that incident. He wore a heavy cloak to hide his bow-legged walk

and pink pants. Yes, that's right. This is how the legend of Mr. Pink Pants began. You better be on the lookout for Mr. Pink Pants, children. He could show up just about anywhere.